Tuesday, November 15, 2016


It's been once again a far and long road between posts, and in truth maybe it's because life has been simple enough that i had nothing to write about? Or maybe I've just been too busy to write, or maybe I've just found another outlet to de-stress or unwind and lose the anxiety or noise that always seems to creep into my head? Well whatever the reason, it's become apparent to me this exercise needs to continue, as i have so much on my mind but can't seem to find a way to communicate it without either causing harm or misleading others with my intentions.

With age comes wisdom, right? Meh, maybe not - as i don't feel any wiser than i was 10 years ago, and i most certainly don't feel any smarter. I am able however to confirm that with age comes perspective. Could that be wisdom? Perhaps - or maybe it's just realization - like getting shocked. It happens once and you go WTF was that?! Happens a second time, and you are more inclined to investigate further. Happens another time and well, lets just say it becomes one of two things... A full scale investigation, or you just stop touching whatever it is that you've been touching that keeps hurting you. Is it wise to walk away? Is it wise to figure out the problem? Or is it just perspective? Don't need to touch whatever it is that keeps shocking you, do you? Then why risk it? Or maybe you do need to touch it - so then what? Well, of course you're going to need some answers. Strange when you look at it from the outside. Like watching a horror movie. If you watch you are like WTF?! don't go in there, but if you  were in the movie, would you need to investigate? Again, not necessarily wisdom, but more likely perspective. My point being there has been many times in my life where things that continue to hurt me were left unchecked, things I've walked away from in order to feel safe.  Ignore them, drown them out, walk or run away, or even make jokes instead of dealing with it. The  truth of that statement is terrifying. How often have i let fear of pain make decisions for me? how often have i let fear of possible pain change my course? No, i don't think wisdom comes with age, i think it comes to those who are wise. To the rest of us it's perspective mixed with hindsight.

Definition for insanity; doing the same thing and expecting different results.

Perhaps that's where perspective becomes wisdom. I know what I've done, and i know what i am doing now - only with some small changes. Minor adjustments to miniscule differences blended with hindsight and perspective. Perhaps wisdom develops once you recognize your faults - even in someone else's failures. Perhaps the differences of perspective and wisdom are just a level of self awareness, or rather humility. A much better word. Is wisdom then humility? Damn, i really need to start using my dictionary again...