Unexpected surprises are the best. As a kid you get excited for Christmas, or when the Easter Bunny is coming, but with age comes knowledge and before we know it surprises tend to happen less and less, its a natural progression. As we start planning Christmas and chocolate bunny egg hunts, we become encompassed in creating surprise and wonder for others, never quite understanding we ourselves are giving up this magic in the process. Its gradual enough over time that it's not a disappointment, rather a transition. We allow this to happen and for some silly reason never once fight to get the magic back. It's like some right of passage to adulthood. Santa isn't real, there is no magic rabbit of candy bringing. We console ourselves in the knowledge that our surprises come from efforts now. We get a raise, exciting, but expected - we work hard. We get birthday gifts, but we were expecting them, not ungratefully, but expected just the same.
I went for a coffee this early Saturday morning and i was happy. I was in fact, gruntled. (look it up :)). As I've stated in my previous posts, life is about collecting these times and putting them in that pie, and well - my pie is starting to look appealing again, finally. I sat in the drive through listening to music, inwardly reflecting waiting my turn and it started to occur to me that of all the things this year has brought to me, happiness hasn't really been a part of it, until recently. My life has been a pretty ugly struggle this past year or so, and well this last few months have been pretty solid! My company is doing amazing, my friends seem to be prospering, and my overall outlook is feeling pretty positive. As i continued to smile and reflect, i pulled forward and retrieved my tasty caffeinated beverage, and it was free! the person in front of me paid for my coffee! I know, big woop - this stuff happens right? It was at this exact moment it hit me. How did the person in front of me know I was happy? How did they know their little gesture of kindness was like icing on pretty much a perfect mood? Of course they didn't, to them it was just a kindness, but all the same, I was surprised! I quickly collected my ridiculously shocked self, and immediately insisted i pay for the people behind me, as of course i wanted to spread this joy. Turns out they ordered $22 worth of coffee... Ah, there's my usual life sparkling from the corner.
Driving away with my $22 cup of surprise, i still couldn't help smiling. It was then it occurred to me, all the self help bs books and sayings had in some sense a truth... Smiles are contagious, being positive brings positivity, and having a want for better, will in fact create the opportunity. Take my "free" coffee for instance. If i was in a shitty mood, it would have been a slight improvement, but not something worth writing about. But - add a huge smile, sprinkle in some leftovers from an amazing day, and bam - I'm spending $22 for a cup of coffee and still driving away like I've won something!
Make no mistake here, i have won something. I didn't work hard for it, i didn't see it coming. I merely created an environment to which i was open to opportunity. As children we squander these, expecting that they just happen all the time, but now as i am, i know better. In this mornings self reflective, expensive free coffee, joyful state, i recognize this feeling is special. What is happening right now is in fact special. It doesn't just happen, it doesn't repeat time and again. Free coffee happens, the realization that happiness is possible and can create more happiness is the surprise. You as you are, the gift.
Deep shit for a Saturday morning, but hey - its a nice surprise. :)