Put on your tinfoil hat!

Well if you're into conspiracy theories than this will make you think a whole lot!! I'm not saying I'm buying into this thought pattern here, at all - but in conversation I've realized it's not too far out of the realm of possibility. Let's just set the stage here;

Firstly you have a world on the brink of environmental collapse - with every country having strong supporters of global warming and ways to combat it's ever-steadily gaining reality. Riots in the streets, protests, economically sound decisions being delayed by governments and lobbying agencies. Add some descent in a few socialist countries, including China which had riots of the millions in its streets, but couldn't roll out tanks again, as today the cameras and social media show would and could become damning to their own economy on a global scale. Soooo...

Enter a virus, which spreads quickly and kills... Soon everyone is on quarantine and self isolation, streets are empty, protests and environmental issues seem to have become secondary and completely invisible to us now. No more complaining about pipelines, oil tankers or environmental issues. 

Now, let’s really strap on those tinfoil hats and look at the "bigger global picture". As i've stated, I am not saying i believe this, I’m not saying this is anywhere close to reality, but i am saying, well... What if?

The rule of 7 states that typically speaking, you could know 7 people and who in turn know 7 people and one of them will know one of the ones you know, and on and on - or something like that. So, in conversation with a bunch of friends, who know a bunch of friends, I’ve yet to talk to anyone, who's talked to anyone who knows someone with the virus currently. NO I’m not saying its fake, NO I’m not saying your sick or lost love one is being downplayed or isn't real, I’m just saying i personally, in my circle of friends, and in their circle of friends, and so on, don't actually (or haven’t mentioned it) know someone who is currently sick. In the world of reality, I feel both lucky and relieved for being this fortunate, but this is a conspiracy post so - reality has no place in this post right now. 

So let’s for a moment, look at what a global health concern has done to the populous of the world in just around 3 months... 

It's removed tens of thousands of people from our populous. The virus prays on the elderly, low immune and sickly (in conspiracy land this means they've removed a huge amount of people who were already a tax on the medical systems).

Public control and programming.

They've managed to keep us all indoors for the most part, watching the news and entertainment which could be 100% manipulated by world governments, as well making sure we're watching exactly whatever movies and TV shows they want us to watch... Consider when Netflix first came out; you would watch a movie, and half way through it would freeze, buffer, and load, then play a bit, and repeat. Now, the whole world is indoors watching streaming TV, and not one buffering issue?! Well, clearly they've been capping bandwidth forever, and opened it up now - to make sure we can all see exactly what they want us to. 

Global warming.

They've already shown how much lower emissions are around the world with little to no traveling, commuting etc. They could be gathering large amounts of data on what it will take to reverse our polluting and save this world - all with a government ordered "stay home". For all we know, the true powers that be knew the world was doomed in the next "x" months or years if we didn't do anything, and now they've extended that time for us by a few more years, or whatever... Again, crazy crazy, super crazy talk here, right?

Global economy crash.

The money was getting out of hand. National debt, global deficits in the trillions and still no end to the spending and borrowing and lending... Now, as things continue to spiral, we find that it could one day be possible to return to gold as being the standard value for wealth to rely on, with all other currencies failing or collapsed. 

My crazy - super crazy conspiracy theory talk here is just stating that, in a matter of 3 months or so, the world has managed to set up a system that is in control of the public’s movements, what they see and hear, thus controlling their thoughts and opinions. They’ve culled the populous and reduced our numbers, giving us more food, more water, more everything for the rest of us. They've reduced global emissions, spend money pretty much uncontested by the populous, and have our complete cooperation in regards to finding a cure to this pandemic. The virus that everyone is afraid of, the virus that will crush us - which no one I know that knows someone that they know, hasn't had... 

I could keep spiraling down this specific rabbit hole getting farther and farther away from reality with each sentence, but where would it eventually lead? I'm assuming full psychotic break! 

Socialism is only a few steps away from an Imperium, which in our planets case, might be the only way us super smart monkeys will ever solve any real problems or threats to the human race. Is this our future? All for one, and one for themselves?

I now remove my tinfoil hat and return to the reality that is. I hope you are all staying safe, washing hands and self isolating. I hope you and your loved ones come out if this without harm, and that everything returns to the mess it was, if only we could be a bit smarter for it.

Much love,

Cory

I was told

If you're going to say I told you so, now's the time...

I miss being happy. I mean, really miss it. I have good days and I have bad days, like the rest of the world, but it just seems to be surface emotions day to day. At night, when I am alone, when the glitter and sparkle of my happy go lucky attitude slips away, that's when I'm left with what it was covering. Again, probably everyone feels this way from time to time, but the truth of it is, I never used to be like this. There were moments, real times in my life, when I was genuinely happy. As I wrote before, we have to learn how to be happy with ourselves, because that is who we spend the most time with. This is where I stumble, where the confusion really takes over, because in general I am happy with myself. I'm proud of my accomplishments and with where I've come from and where I'm going. As with all of us, things could be better as they sure as hell could be worse. So, is this what happy is supposed to be? Content with not being worse?

I've been told many times in my life that I am a codependent individual, with underlying issues around trust and abandonment and so - it makes sense that I have issues being alone. With my past it makes sense, but as I delve deeper into my own issues, read a few things, talk to some people, I've realized that I am truly happy when I have found love, acceptance and the feeling of being needed. Not the kind of "needed" like "fix my car, are you good with painting, I need help moving". I mean, I don't mind helping with that stuff, but being loved and needed by my friends is not the same as being loved and needed by a partner. It's this solid realization that has caused me to reflect and analyze my past relationships. It's in this analytical state that I've come to understand what really makes me feel whole.

With the above information in hand, let me first start by saying I have NEVER stayed in a relationship out of fear of being alone, nor have I ever started a relationship because I didn't want to be alone any longer. In the few relationships I've had, there has been a constant moral code to which I've held strongly. I've never said I love you until I've meant it, and I've always strived to be as honest and forthcoming as I can - even if it hasn't been in my best interest. That being said, I have been a poor communicator in the past, and perhaps still currently, but I am working on it. 

When I think back to the key moments of the best memories, look at some photos, reflect on the truly life changing events that made each moment more amazing then the last, the resounding message I get is the same. So go ahead, say it...