Credit cards, banks, governments and call centres...

Alrighty then, here we go. Its been a few days since my last post, ok more than a few, sorry. In truth i've been busy, and very pre-occupied. I could tell you what i was up to, and share with you my very busy secretive private life, but then i'd have to kill you.
Just kidding, of course i'll share, thats what this is all about. Hey, guess what? If you give your money to a credit card company, to pay them back, and pay on line, its possible they will apply your payment to, well, um, ok they will just take your money and say nothing. Yep, thats right. I paid off a department store credit card last month in full, on line from my bank, and blam. A month later they don't have the money. I know i paid, my bank records show it. My bank says they gave the money to the credit card company, they have records to prove it. The credit card company, well.... they had FIVE financial institutions backing their card, and decided to get rid of them all and consolidate down to one.  Within 48 hours of receiving my money! So, somewhere in the shuffle, my $1000 payment is gone. Like the great Hoodini, vanished like magic. I use the card once, only once, to get some stuff for my new place, and a month later pay it off, in full, and blam... Just took the money but put it nowhere. My bank and they are trying to sort it out, until then im being charged interest, have no credit if i so wanted to use it (which will never happen again), and show's a debt unpaid and late, on my credit score. Who is this professional company you ask. Who can be so blatently ignorant with ones credit score, and cash? FUTURESHOP bitches. Fuck them. Seriously, the only thing of mine that will ever go into there doors again, will be a bottle of gasoline with a burning rag stuffed in the  top of it!
Deeeeep breath...... and counting....... ok, ok. Its fine, im better now. A month from now it will all be worked out and it wouldn't have mattered. So a very long introduction to my rant, but here it is; why is it that when a major company, bank or organization makes a mistake, they put you on to a help line to sort it out, and the call centre is in some foreign country where the person helping you has an accent so thick, its not only impossible to understand them, they actually can't undersand you?  While im a G note in the wind, im on the line with Amir, who apparently needs some information that is personal to berry-fy my persons. So if you really want to have some fun, when they ask for your postal code, give it to them in the phenetic alphabet. Oh, im sorry, thats where you use words to denote a letter... Example, my postal code is V2V4X7 so that would be victor 2 victor, 4 x-ray 7. right? ok, well when i gave Amir my postal code, he actually asked me who is Bictor, and could i please just give him the postal code. I think thats what he said anyway.  So while my problem isn't too complicated to explain, insert two people who cannot understand each other and what do you get? Transfers; transfers to supervisors who move you to another agent to help, who is no better than the last, who moves you to someone else, who by accident (right), disconnects you during the transfer! So call back and speak to Grukji instead! Seriously how tough would it have been to sit down at a desk with a real human in the branch and sort this mess out??? Oh quick side note, if youre ever on a computer automated phone system and the computer voice is asking for a audible response, just swear real loud and continueously for like 10 seconds and it will transfer you to a human... True story, did i mention i hate Telus too? Anyway, last time i checked the term "customer service" meant you would actually take care of your customer. I would rather be on a wait list, and die on hold, or have them call me back in a days time, if it meant i could speak to a human, one who i can understand, and one that would not finish with me until the problem was COMPLETELY resolved... If you bounce a cheque, a bank makes the adjustoment right away, so why is it if i want my $1000 back cause they didn't apply it correctly it will take 3 weeks or more to trace it and retrieve it? Again i digress, sorry... Call centre's suck, customer disservice is closer to the mark these days, and WTF is with the HST? I don't know if im for it or against it. I wish i could pick a side, but my beautiful government hasn't even sent me one letter to tell me how to pay it, collect it, report it, or how it will effect me, or my business or my customers! Bah! To hell with them too!!
Sooo, i got a little off topic, but seriously, i wish i was a little more informed than i have been. Hell i wish i had some information at all. Anyway, i've lost any sort of direction to this blog, and im so worked up now, its going to take a little while to calm down, so im calling it quits and gonna try again later.
For the record, they still don't know what happened to my money, i still don't know wtf is going on with HST, and Telus really doesn't like me anymore than i like them...

Oh if you want to laugh, go to this link http://theoatmeal.com/comics/customer_service to read a real special view on customer service calls...

Oh and im still running on the 10th of July and still need your donations !!! do it here please ---> https://secure2.convio.net/cfuaca/site/Donation2?idb=473849410&df_id=1200&FR_ID=1170&1200.donation=form1&PROXY_ID=1791901&PROXY_TYPE=20&JServSessionIdr004=5u1fuof2k4.app213a

Coffee and cars

Today i met a friend for a car coffee. For those of you who don't know, a car coffee is when you go to a Tim Hortons or a Star Bucks, go through the drive through, and then park in the parking lot to enjoy your friend, coffee, and not be interupted or over heard by lonely coffee shop drinkers. And as i drank my tea and we spoke, i couldnt help but notice the number of drivers that; CANT PARK, CANT NAVIGATE, and DONT GET IT moving through this parking lot. Yes bold letters were necessary. Ok, listen up; If you enter a parking lot and 15 cars are lined up in a drive through, you should not, and cannot enter the middle of the line and expect anything but anger, animosity, and hatered from anyone that would end up behind you. PERIOD - so dont look shocked when they honk, wave fists, and in the case of another friend, try and kill you with their own automobile! Secondly, the lines on the parking lot ground are NOT guidlines. They are there to give you a specific place to park. if at any time your wheels are touching them, or youre entirely crooked in your parking spot, fix it. Its called being courteous. Oh and if you think your automobile is so much better than others that you need two spots to stop anyone from dinging your doors or whatever, then do the right thing and park waaaaay back in the back 40, so as to not take prime spots 2 at a time. BECAUSE if it was me who needed the spot, and you were all ass like in your parking, id probably key the hell out of your car - asshole! Whew... Ok onward we go... Now i know there is no centre lines in the parking lot driving lanes, and i know there is not necessarily turning arrows or traffic lights or flag bags to tell you where to drive, but honestly, would it not be common sense in a busy parking lot to drive on the road ways and not cut through 3 or 4 parking spots to get back into the flow of traffic. Its ok if you do it, if you can do it, but when you can't, and the parking lot is major busy, its just all sorts of wrong. Besides, the people i watched today, almost rubbed mirrrors, one actually got out to look if they'd fit. It would have been faster just to enter a parking row back and drive the extra 50 yards. One last note - if you cant see the corners of your car, if you don't actually judge distance well, or quite honestly if it makes  you nervous to drive, park or navigate in tight places, then don't. Park way far away, walk in, walk out, and get the hell out of the other drivers way. Seriously the fact that drive throughs have cement posts to stop people from crashing their building is wrong, the fact that every one is scrapped and banged up is terrifying!
Wow... Aside from that small observation, tea was good, company was great, and i left the parking lot in the propper lanes, didn't cut anyone off, actually let a few people in while leaving and managed to do it without fist shaking, yelling, rubbing things or anything... I was however very perturbed about the rest of the parking lot idiots. You know who you are!

Fin

My mind, my dog, your murse

Well hello and salutations! Todays sarcasm is brought to you by the letters F & U and the number 2. 
After a good week of fumbling blindly through my emotions i have come to discover a few things that i wasn't totally aware of up until now. First off, i have a fear of commitment; but only when im alone. Wierd right? I also have a fear of being alone. I know kind of counter productive right? Crazy i know. Anyway those two emotional issues aside, I have discovered that nothing is more exciting than hanging leg raises, i can run 10k in 56 minutes, i can still bench press over 300lbs (yes there was some doubt there - not feeling overly strong these days),  a mattress memory foam pad makes my bed harder to get out of in the morning, and Gus really likes to watch me shower. I know, thats what i said. He probably cant understand why i get in a glass box and stand in the rain. He cocks his head sideways, and stares like im crazy. And i think he thinks its dangerous, or its a teleporter or something, cause when i get out he's all excited like there was a chance i wasn't coming back, like Scotty was going to beam me away. I know, but hey, he's my dog. Um, what was i going to say... Oh, you probably think im a bit off being excited about leg raises and running and lifting weights and stuff? No? Well you should, that really is crazy, it borders on sick actually. But it does help me think, maybe too much, but it beats walking around my house in circles talking to myself. Maybe the dog has some reasons to worry about me? ;)
Was there a point to my blog today? Oh yes, right... Murses are NOT cool. Come on guys, really? At what point in your life did you decide, hey, my girls purse looks really handy, i totally need somewhere to put my lip gloss and cell phone! You idiots, its a purse for gods sake. Remember growing up, shopping with your mom, and she'd be trying something on, and she'd tell you to hold her purse? You'd stand in the womens section right outside the change room door, dying a slow death cause everyone is looking at this guy holding a purse, and it was all you could do to even touch the thing never mind get the idea to hang it on your shoulder by its strap. So fast forward a couple decades and BAM! You want to hold your own purse, hang it from your shoulder, and think its cool... Seriously guys, WTF. I don't think i can actually think of any male icon that has been seen with a murse, so im trying to figure out who came up with the idea, who was trying to emulate who, and why ever didn't his buddy slap him around and ask WTF are you doing? If you're leaving your buddy's house and he came out of his room in a pink cardigan, white slacks, and a gold belt, you'd fucking say no way dude! Im not going in public with you like that, but you're all good with him and his purse? Wow, not a good friend at all. So there, im done, im over it... Murses are not cool. Oh and for gods sake, don't come into a COMBAT STORE and ask if we have murses, seriously thats grounds for a good smack right there...Ok im over it.
Ah ya, so thats it for now, and dont forget about todays letters and numbers... F U 2

WAY to much caffine, but thinking it helps me think...

What in the hell was i thinking... Why ever at 7 oclock would i take an energy drink? Right, cause i was super sleepy from my nap and HAD to go to the gym. So after the gym i was thirsty and wanted a protien drink, so clearly a booster juice was in order. Of course it had to be a real big one with their special energy blend and powdered GREEN  TEA. So here i am, after 1am and still friggen wired. My body is spent, but i couldnt close my eyes to stop someone from poking them! So, since sleep eludes me for now, i figure what better time to wrestle with my inner demons.
Something is missing; what exactly it is id rather not say, or for that matter admit, but definately something in my life is missing and its getting to me. What i have discovered in this self induced energy burst is that im way happier when i have this energetic pop in my step, and further more, i know i've had this feeling of energy without the suppliments. I know exactly how this feels on a natural level, cause almost all summer last year i felt it. Small windows of this "feeling" keep popping up, but then evade me, or i, it. Either way i really need to take the necessary steps to maintain this "feeling", because it is absolutely amazing when its there. Makes me feel like a kid again; well like a normal kid, not the kid life i had, but you get the idea. Happy, energetic, smiling like a fool, talking like everything that comes outa my mouth is some amazing apiphany (ya i know probably spelled that one wrong), and all the while oblivious to the shit storm around me. I LIKE IT! Not that im ignoring the obvious issues in my life, just more over being aware of the better things in life and taking the time to enjoy them. Makes me a better human when i feel that way. Less of a prick anyway. So, maybe some of you are wondering what i do, or did to get this way naturally? Well, not that im certain of exactly what i do, or did, but definately know some of the contributing factors, but if i tell you now then its quite possible while giving you some great wisdom, i may lose my chance to actually catch this feeling in the long run. I know its like im speaking in tongues right? Sorry, but until i actually wrestle this part of my life into place, id rather not say. You know what they say? No? Um.... Chickens, eggs,... Right, dont count your chickens before they hatch... or is it don't count your eggs before the chicken lays them? Whatever, dont do the eggs and chicken thing till you actually have eggs and or chickens... lol, im so scrambled right now - WAY to much energy, but with very little focus. Its ok, this is meant to be an exercise for me to ramble and clear my thoughts, if you find it entertaining than hurray for you. If not, i believe we covered your options earlier on in my blogs. SO, anyway what i guess im getting at is there are some parts of my life that make me exceedingly happy, and although i know what they are, i still stand aways away from getting them, or achieving them, and until i can figure out how to do that, any wisdom i impart on you will most likely be flawed, or worse, could steer you down a road ive taken that did nothing but lead me astray. So stay tuned and maybe sooner rather than later i might actually be able to share this great all empowering feeling and its secrets of possessing it. If not at least i've entertained you along the way... If you didn't get entertained along the way, then perhaps you really should have exercised option B... Again start my blog from the beginning and you will know what option B is.

:D

Sorry for the late reply

Well, what can i say? I guess i've just been too busy to post in the last few days, and well, im kind of disappointed about it. Seriously wanted to do a daily update on my brain, and all its hectic thinking, but life just got in the way. So anyway, here i go; to make up for lost time im just going to bullet point my bitches over the last 3 days...

• Sunday drivers
• Time wasting customers
• politically correct speak
• crack heads
• bad drivers - NOT the same as Sunday drivers
• telemarketers
• newspaper delivery
• shitty mail
• Mission City
• Abbotsford City
• Federal and Provincial Government
• Sour milk
• mouldy bread
• people who despite my partners best laid arguements, must call me on my day off!!!
• taxes

Now i assure you there is a story attached to each and every one of these gripes, but for time saving messures i will let you draw your own conclusions...
I do have some personal news that i just want to brag about... I ran 10k last night to see if i could come race day, and yes i can... In like 56 minutes!!! nice right? Well ive got to peel 6 minutes off that time if im intending to win a bet. well i really do have lots more to talk about, but seeing how i havent been posting daily as i wanted, im going to save more of this week for tomorrows post.
Later, skater

Sun, driving, and perfect endings

Well well well, look who it is, about time you showed your face around here! Sun o beautiful sun, how long we've all waited for your arrival. That said, thanks for the f'n sunburn fucker! Oh and thanks for hatching all the mosquito eggs too! You know, seriously, screw you! You wait all god damn spring, foresake us, leave us in the cold wet darkness that should have been a spring, then torch us near death with no warning or warm up... Seriously need to work on some manners here i think...Ah well, now that i've shared my personal opinion of how the sun has treated me, i must say its nice to have it out. Makes me want to never get off the motorcycle, and makes our business that much more business like. Wierd how people want to play stuff outside when its not raining. who'd a thunk it?? Anyway, summer is here for sure now and all the more excited i am about a vacation of some sort this year.

Now on to the ranting i so often get credit for. If you drive, and more importantly, if you drive poorly, "defensively", are scared to drive, or it makes you uncomfortable, then please... GET THE FUCK OFF MY ROAD!!! Honestly people when youre on a single lane highway, and you look in your rear view mirror and there is a load of traffic behind you, but its all clear in front of you, then that would be the time to identify that youre a shit driver. It would also be the time to speed up or pull over, NOT the time to tap your brakes as if to give me a warning you might stop suddenly. Lets face it, when you're moving that slowly and that cautiously, there isn't a chance in hell you'd actually spike the brakes. So your shinnanigans arent fooling any of us, and in fact we're all considering slashing your tires at the next gas station or rest stop you use. Yes thats right, i get pissy with other drivers less "motivated" than me. More acutely i get pissy with people who have no concern for the interuption they cause on the flow of traffic over all. I might be the one riding your ass, but its because i have someone riding my ass. MOVE. Oh and for christs sake, if you're on a two lane freeway or highway, move the fuck over! NOW!!! Seriously everyone has heard the "slower traffic keep right" saying, read it on signs, and whatever... THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU! You are slower traffic - so move, and save the dirty looks for someone else when i do finally pass you. Yes, i am pissed at you, yes i am all but pushing you down the freeway. Yes i get it, i made you feel uncomfortable... If you'd but just let me past, you could resume your Sunday drive with no stress. Instead you fuck with me, which stresses you. Then you shoot me a dirty look like im doing wrong. And lets face it, you look all angry and shit, but the second i suggest you pull over so we can discuss it in a more personal manner - youre suddenly in a hurry and cant stop. Maybe if you drove like you were in a hurry you wouldn't be giving me the finger, then looking away horribly quickly realizing you made a real dumb mistake. I am not above beating you into driving lessons, or driving retirement. All right, fine... Im sorry. I just get so god damn aggrivated when im trying to enjoy a nice cruise on the bike, and all i can think of is kicking your mirror off your car when i pass you. Just please, for all of us, take the slow lane when you can, and remember - just cause you pay taxes doesn't make it YOUR road. Its MINE ok? Don't forget it.

Ya, thats it. thats my gripe today. Have lots more to bitch about, but in truth it was all i could do to get this out. Took me all day to type it out and now after reading it over it seems all so angry. Im in a stellar mood now, my day couldnt have ended better baring a bathroom break (inside joke). I don't even feel this strongly about it now. Well, at least not until i drive tomorrow and you fuck with me again.  Screw you!

Jump around on topics much?

So today took a bit more time to consider what exactly i was going to write about. I thought for a moment that there is no way i can keep the pace of blogging every day, as with most things, it will lose its "newness" and i will be less and less intersted in posting. But actually i find myself having so many more topics i want to vent about, that i lose some of them because i don't start on them right away - i think this will give weight to my procrastination problem from my previous post. Anywho - so far so good - not at a loss and so the blogging daily will continue, time permiting.
Ever have one of those days, where all you seem to be able to do is reflect on past events? It doesn't matter how good or bad of a day you're having, it doesn't matter who you are with, it just seems to always pop in your head? Well that is my day today. I think i've revisited some of the worst and best times in the past year about a dozen times each today, and although some of the details have gone a bit fuzzy in the memory,  the emotions connected to them are still very much there. It really surprises me how a memory can hold more than you actually remember the moment meaning at the time. Does that make sense to you? It does to me. I can vividly remember this moment last summer, just sitting back and chilling on a big chair with a friend, failing at an attempt at nursing them back to health, as they were under the weather, watching a show that really i don't even like, and how comfortable it was. Now at the time i don't remember being overly excited, or overwelmed with crazy amounts of emotion, but when i think back on it now, it makes me smile like an idiot. It seems almost sureal; like at that moment something major took place, but at the time it was just TV and a big chair, hanging out. Strange how when given the time to reflect, you can actually "feel" what was going on, but in the moment although good as it was, you never put as much weight on it as you do when you think about it later. Again to revisit my last post - i really need to work on some of those regrets...

Did i mention something about venting??? Right. I had a casual conversation with a supplier today in Quebec, and by the time i got off the phone i was ready to spit acid. Its official, i hate, despise, neh, loathe french Canadians, or rather french Canada. I hate the fact that they see english as a handicap in their province, that they insist every store have only french writing on the outside, and if your business name doesn't translate into a french equivelant, you actually have to change the name so it can be said in french. Now i had a friend beside me quickly point out that the reasoning for this is because they are trying to save the french heritage that quebec has, so by enforcing these laws, it will help keep french alive in Canada...Somehow i doubt that somewhere in France there is a city that insists on English, so as to keep English alive in france. I call major BS on this. Because of our beautiful bi-lingual country, manufactures are forced to box everything with two languages on it, making major international companies spend more money on packaging, which increases our cost as a consumer all so an insignificant, horribly inefficient language can be kept alive in Canada. When will our country actually become a country, when will our government actually stop coddling the ones who make the most amount of noise, but the least amount of sense. Seriously if you took a pole, how many other languages are in Canada, and of them all which is the most spoken. I bloody well guarantee that english is on the top of the board. Don't get me wrong, i envy those who are bilingual in any languages, but it doesnt mean an entire countries written word has to be done twice, just to keep one province out of 13 (territories included - and yes i actually had to look it up), happy. I say BS!!! And before you go off with your comments, read my disclaimer at the beginning of my blog.

Anyway, on to the present i go. VEGAS... TAXI - take me to Funville please - and don't spare the horses! My good friend is going to Vegas for a stag party in two weeks, and im more than a little worried it might kill him. Seriously this guy knows how to have a good time, but Vegas for 5 days would kill me, and im reserved in comparision to him. He tells me that he's just gonna get his drink on and chill by the pool, but i know that by day 4 he'll be hung over, lying in bed, coughing up stripper glitter, wondering what happened to the last 48 hours. I hope he has a great time and lives to talk about it, but i seriously question if his restraint will hold. I am more than jealous he's going; i love Vegas and could really use a good cut loose weekend away. Not that my road trip in the beginning of the month wasn't great fun, but the idea of a Vegas trip always gets my fun juices flowing... Soon, very soon i will have to go back.

Um, ya thats about all that is going on in my head at this exact moment. Jumped around a bit, but seriously my whole day has been like this. I promise my next post or two will have a bit more direction to them than this random prattle.

Later :)

Grinds my gears

So here we go again; this blogging thing really seems to help clear the mind. I hope at this point my prattling isnt too irratating or boring . Mind you if it is, i guess you just don't have to read it - which if you've exercised that right already then you wont see any of this, so really it doesn't matter. What was my point?


Well today a friend of mine lost his job - boo, but as i say far too often these days, either through insperation or desperation, change comes. So he will have to wrestle with those demons, and hopefully we can all help him smile during the hunt for employment. Which brings me to my entire point of my post today... I cannot believe the collective amount of dirt bags, mouth breathers, inbred red necks, and holy-er than thou bible thumping morons my little city has to offer. After seeing more than anyone should of these people come and go past me on the street i will find it entirely amazing if my friend doesn't find a job in like a day, because he actually bathes, shaves, wears clean clothes and doesn't look like a dirty clown. The collective pile of garbage that seems to float past me in a day is baffling. Now don't get me wrong, im ok if you like god, just don't tell me how much he likes me. K? And im ok if you find your sister attractive, or your uncle daddy got a new pick up. Just don't share it with me. You're lonely, need someone to talk to? ITS NOT ME, please don't come into my store and strike up a conversation like i give a shit. And seriously, if youre going into public, how tough would it be to wear clean clothes, shower, and maybe invest in some pit stick? If you have some serious odor (odiferous majorous) please do not enter my 3 foot bubble! And ok this is the big one... LOOK IN THE MIRROR before you leave. You might think its cool to dress with your pants hanging off your ass, or your hat crooked, or in a jacket covered in patches or a belt buckle the size of your fucking head, but seriously take a minute. Try and put yourself in an alternate reality, its called "employable". Hey anyone can dress down for a camping trip or a day of yard work. Hey if your in construction, i get it, who wants to wreck good clothes. But seriously when you look in the mirror do you look like someone that might be dressed to succeed? Hell do you look like someone the police most likely wouldnt hassle? Gangsters aren't cool, the "greasers" died off in the 70's and should remain dead. Grunge is ok for a concert, but not for job hunting. Why o why am i going on about this? Because this morning alone i had like 8 people come into my store, asking for work, asking to wash my windows, looking at stuff they have no intention of buying, never mind money to buy anything with, then starting up random story or conversation like i'd actually give a shit. I don't know where they come from or what their purpose is, but i can't shake the thought that if you can't actually contribute to society in some level - then maybe its time society got rid of you... Too much right? Well i did post a warning in the beginning of all this stuff saying sorry in advance. I don't know if im actually done posting for today, but honestly im more than aggitated right now so i will stop writing now and maybe revisit later today.
Oh, and hey, i like you just the way you are. I was talking about the other random people, not you ;)

Oh how you make me think...

Someone very important to me asked me recently, do I have any regrets? I answered rather quickly saying yes, who doesn't, but never really thought it entirely through. Well like usual when this person speaks, i spend entirely too much time thinking and analyzing what they said, what was meant by the question, and whether or not my answer was meant to satisfy them, or to make me think. Anyway the desired effect unknown, i have done exactly that - thought, analyzed, brewed, stewed and concentrated on the question. A few things have come clear to me. First off, yes i have many regrets - i was truthful in answering that, and really who doesn't. But as i pondered the questions meaning, and what my regrets are, or would be if given the time of day to reflect - which by the way seems to be the middle of the night for me, while not sleeping - i realized that all my regrets that quickly popped up had very little to do with me. They were all around how i should not have done this to that person, or how i should have done that for this person. As i thought harder, there were a few that were about me, but really all my immediate regrets were about how or what i should have done differently for other people. Strange how i can go on in my previous post about how its all about me, but when i let my conscious be my guide, my regrets are about how others were effected by my decisions. Now this realization does not undo my previous post, rather adds weight to it. Seriously why do i live my life dancing around others responses or reactions to decisions that really have nothing to do with them? Anyway, back to my regrets...
1. I should spend considerably more time thinking about something before speaking about it (true for most of us i think).
2. When an opportunity presents itself when dealing with the heart - i shouldn't hesitate to speak my feelings - regardless if it gets me hurt or makes me look stupid. (To many good things have slid past me or out of my hands because i was reserved - yes me - or unsure, probably even scared).
3. Recognize when im beating a dead horse. Seriously have to work on this one...
4. Run directly at my problems, not skirt around them. Oh and even more importantly - once im head to head with them, don't let up after the first dealings with it. Keep it in the fore front until the problem is resolved. (still working on it).
5. When i do decide to discuss an issue, i should be very mindful of who i share it with. Its seems more often than not i discuss my problem or issue with the wrong person, or persons, and end up getting bad advice, or having to defend my thinking rather then actually listening to their opinions.
6. Just because i ask someone their opinion does not mean i need to follow that advice! Far too often i get some input and run with it, its like i can't blame myself now because this person said it was ok... Enough of that...
7. Eating ANY gas station food. Drunk or not drunk - i really should know better.
8. Doing something out of boredom. Every day seems to short - i really need to stay on track.
9. Procrastinating. Thats right - i regret that i procrastinate. I continually put off going to the gym, or for a run, getting the books done, or whatever, because i can do it later today... Later today always seems to late.
10. Over scheduling. I continue to try and fit everything i can into every day. This pisses off friends, makes me late or a complete no show to events, and honestly makes me pissy that im running around in circles constantly trying to make everyone happy all the while making me unhappy...Every time i try to make everyone happy, someone ends up pissed anyway, and i end up miserable... I know this - just need to figure out how to change it.

Well, i didn't think i'd do the top 10 list, but my OCD said i couldnt stop at like 4, or 7 or anything so 10 was the number. Recognizing my regrets or at least my patterns of regrets unfortunately won't make me change. At least not over night. Im still gonna be reserved when my heart is out there. Im still going to be defensive when talking about my problems, and im still going to procrastinate... Hopefully i can learn sooner or later to just say no to gas station food - thats one i really need to enforce sooner rather then later...

Looking into the darkness...

Ok, so another day and another post. Im not quite sure if im supposed to do this daily, but it seems like a good idea so far, besides i've got a bit to say today. First of let me begin by saying sorry. Thats right - sorry. The last 9 months or so have been a pretty trying time for me, and it occured to me that there has been a handful of people that i've leaned on, used, abused, disregarded, and all out ignored. Im sorry - it was all about me for a while and honestly it still is a bit. That said, get over it! Live your god damn life, not mine. K? I know, if you were me you'd do things differently, maybe change the way i've been behaving, or some such nonsense... YOUR NOT ME, be thankful, and just get over it. Nothing i've done was intended to be taken out on you - its just the way it played out. K?
On that note, just for the record; I made these major changes in my life for a reason, and the reasons are my own. I make my decisions now based on that reason. I want to be happy. Now, if i decide to hang out with someone that makes me happy, its meant to make me happy, not you. Now, im not saying i don't want you to be a happy group, but lets face it - its still about me - my life, not yours so get over it. Youre still my friends, youre still important to me, i just hope that im important enough to you to see past my choices if you don't like them.

On to happy things... Summer is almost acting like summer, and with that thought im on vacation planning. For the last 15+ years i've almost never taken a vacation, and when i have, its been for 5 or 7 days at the most. This year is going to be different. I fully intend to take some serious time off to spend with my boys, my  friends and myself. Now i don't know how i can afford it, or what im going to do - but damn it im gonna do it. Im thinking of renting a motor home for a week or two and going dirt biking and camping with the boys. Or maybe rent a house boat and float the lakes for a bit. Dont know - suggestions welcome here, just realize i don't really have any intentions on leaving the country for the summer. Ill save up for that this winter. AND with the idea of doing said activities, its always more fun in crowds, so feel free to drop me a line and maybe we can do a group thing, i don't know, but a week or two with friends all relaxing, swimming, riding, skiing, drinking, fishing, eating, and camp fire-ing it up sounds like more fun than pushing drunk, drugged up midget clowns down stairs... (Inside joke, and tenative business plan :D ). Almost forgot - MORE ROAD TRIPS PLEASE. God damn some of the best fun ever!!!


Later peoples

Well let's just see how deep the rabbit hole goes

So i really don't know exactly the reasoning behind the purpose of my blog, aside from a chance to spill my brains out to the general public. Now i know at times i might offend some of you, or worse insult some of you, but in truth it is just my rants and "what grinds my gears" kinda thoughts. Its nothing personal or directional but more just an observation. There is always the chance that i might actually think something inspirational, like ground breaking rationalism that only one so deftly intuit could surmise; but most likely not - so don't get your hopes up. Oh, one last note - my spelling is horrible, my punctuation and grammar is poor, and im probably the king of run on sentences and paragraphs, so if this kind of thing picks your ass, then keep it to yourself. K?

Today is the day after; after what? After i went out with friends and drank. Now i didn't get entirely wrecked as i usually would. Nope this time i took it easy - at least until i got home, then had a bit more, still not over the top but enough to help me sleep hard. Which if you know me at all, you know isn't exactly something i do well. I used to think the lack of sleep, or rather the lack of ability to sleep long or hard was a side effect of my recent divorce. But now when i think about it, i remember not being able to sleep well in the last 3 or 4 years of my marriage either. Not quite sure why that is, might be a side effect of age, or maybe im still not at piece with things, which is why i didn't sleep well while married, any more than i sleep well now while single. At any rate the drink helped me sleep and i woke well rested. But here is the issue; every time i drink to any volume, the next day i cant help but feel the blues. I mean i know alcohol is a depressant but seriously, every time? Why don't i quite drinking you might ask? BECUASE I LIKE IT. K? I don't need to get wrecked, but i like the relaxed, no inhabitations feeling of just letting go once and awhile. So how do i fight the blues? Well, the gym is key, and so is running, but today is the day i get my boys for the week, and that surely will do the trick. They keep me busy, and makes me smile, which is an end all of any downer.

Something ive noticed lately too, is that whenever i have my kids, i tend to not have enough time in the day to get everything done i want, as well as do everything i want to do with them. I get up way earlier, and go to bed way later than i should, so that i can accomplish more, but it never seems to be enough. Maybe i've fallen into the disorganized person kind of panic that only a scattered thinking individual can accomplish with any kind of partial success... Does that even make any sense? Whatever - my point being i need to make a few more changes in my life so as to not continue the spiraling downward chaos that seems to be my helter skelter time management abilities... Having complete days off might help. Miguel and i (He is my business partner for those of you who don't know), both work 7 days a week usually, and when we do get "A" day off, there is so much we need to do, that we can't possibly get it all done in one day. Maybe that is the start of it - maybe 2 days off a week might help...



Anyway look at me go - first post on my blog and i cant shut up... Maybe this was a good idea, or maybe not... Well i really could go on, but i think i'll pull the pin for now. Later ;)