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Thursday, June 17, 2010

WAY to much caffine, but thinking it helps me think...

What in the hell was i thinking... Why ever at 7 oclock would i take an energy drink? Right, cause i was super sleepy from my nap and HAD to go to the gym. So after the gym i was thirsty and wanted a protien drink, so clearly a booster juice was in order. Of course it had to be a real big one with their special energy blend and powdered GREEN  TEA. So here i am, after 1am and still friggen wired. My body is spent, but i couldnt close my eyes to stop someone from poking them! So, since sleep eludes me for now, i figure what better time to wrestle with my inner demons.
Something is missing; what exactly it is id rather not say, or for that matter admit, but definately something in my life is missing and its getting to me. What i have discovered in this self induced energy burst is that im way happier when i have this energetic pop in my step, and further more, i know i've had this feeling of energy without the suppliments. I know exactly how this feels on a natural level, cause almost all summer last year i felt it. Small windows of this "feeling" keep popping up, but then evade me, or i, it. Either way i really need to take the necessary steps to maintain this "feeling", because it is absolutely amazing when its there. Makes me feel like a kid again; well like a normal kid, not the kid life i had, but you get the idea. Happy, energetic, smiling like a fool, talking like everything that comes outa my mouth is some amazing apiphany (ya i know probably spelled that one wrong), and all the while oblivious to the shit storm around me. I LIKE IT! Not that im ignoring the obvious issues in my life, just more over being aware of the better things in life and taking the time to enjoy them. Makes me a better human when i feel that way. Less of a prick anyway. So, maybe some of you are wondering what i do, or did to get this way naturally? Well, not that im certain of exactly what i do, or did, but definately know some of the contributing factors, but if i tell you now then its quite possible while giving you some great wisdom, i may lose my chance to actually catch this feeling in the long run. I know its like im speaking in tongues right? Sorry, but until i actually wrestle this part of my life into place, id rather not say. You know what they say? No? Um.... Chickens, eggs,... Right, dont count your chickens before they hatch... or is it don't count your eggs before the chicken lays them? Whatever, dont do the eggs and chicken thing till you actually have eggs and or chickens... lol, im so scrambled right now - WAY to much energy, but with very little focus. Its ok, this is meant to be an exercise for me to ramble and clear my thoughts, if you find it entertaining than hurray for you. If not, i believe we covered your options earlier on in my blogs. SO, anyway what i guess im getting at is there are some parts of my life that make me exceedingly happy, and although i know what they are, i still stand aways away from getting them, or achieving them, and until i can figure out how to do that, any wisdom i impart on you will most likely be flawed, or worse, could steer you down a road ive taken that did nothing but lead me astray. So stay tuned and maybe sooner rather than later i might actually be able to share this great all empowering feeling and its secrets of possessing it. If not at least i've entertained you along the way... If you didn't get entertained along the way, then perhaps you really should have exercised option B... Again start my blog from the beginning and you will know what option B is.

:D

3 comments:

Our Family said...
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Diane Stewart said...

Although you wrote this at 1 am with far far too much caffiene on-board....it's fun to read! I felt like a child with ADHD (but I'm actually an adult with ADHD!), all over the place and somewhat exhausted in the end. DId you sleep after you'd run a lap or two on the blog? Love reading your rants...Sunday drivers and bad drivers....GAHHH!!! xo

Tammy said...

I have a feeling that I know at least a PART of what puts that spring in your step and smile on your face. I will stay tuned to see if I'm right! :)