Sunday, June 6, 2010

Well let's just see how deep the rabbit hole goes

So i really don't know exactly the reasoning behind the purpose of my blog, aside from a chance to spill my brains out to the general public. Now i know at times i might offend some of you, or worse insult some of you, but in truth it is just my rants and "what grinds my gears" kinda thoughts. Its nothing personal or directional but more just an observation. There is always the chance that i might actually think something inspirational, like ground breaking rationalism that only one so deftly intuit could surmise; but most likely not - so don't get your hopes up. Oh, one last note - my spelling is horrible, my punctuation and grammar is poor, and im probably the king of run on sentences and paragraphs, so if this kind of thing picks your ass, then keep it to yourself. K?

Today is the day after; after what? After i went out with friends and drank. Now i didn't get entirely wrecked as i usually would. Nope this time i took it easy - at least until i got home, then had a bit more, still not over the top but enough to help me sleep hard. Which if you know me at all, you know isn't exactly something i do well. I used to think the lack of sleep, or rather the lack of ability to sleep long or hard was a side effect of my recent divorce. But now when i think about it, i remember not being able to sleep well in the last 3 or 4 years of my marriage either. Not quite sure why that is, might be a side effect of age, or maybe im still not at piece with things, which is why i didn't sleep well while married, any more than i sleep well now while single. At any rate the drink helped me sleep and i woke well rested. But here is the issue; every time i drink to any volume, the next day i cant help but feel the blues. I mean i know alcohol is a depressant but seriously, every time? Why don't i quite drinking you might ask? BECUASE I LIKE IT. K? I don't need to get wrecked, but i like the relaxed, no inhabitations feeling of just letting go once and awhile. So how do i fight the blues? Well, the gym is key, and so is running, but today is the day i get my boys for the week, and that surely will do the trick. They keep me busy, and makes me smile, which is an end all of any downer.

Something ive noticed lately too, is that whenever i have my kids, i tend to not have enough time in the day to get everything done i want, as well as do everything i want to do with them. I get up way earlier, and go to bed way later than i should, so that i can accomplish more, but it never seems to be enough. Maybe i've fallen into the disorganized person kind of panic that only a scattered thinking individual can accomplish with any kind of partial success... Does that even make any sense? Whatever - my point being i need to make a few more changes in my life so as to not continue the spiraling downward chaos that seems to be my helter skelter time management abilities... Having complete days off might help. Miguel and i (He is my business partner for those of you who don't know), both work 7 days a week usually, and when we do get "A" day off, there is so much we need to do, that we can't possibly get it all done in one day. Maybe that is the start of it - maybe 2 days off a week might help...

Anyway look at me go - first post on my blog and i cant shut up... Maybe this was a good idea, or maybe not... Well i really could go on, but i think i'll pull the pin for now. Later ;)


Tammy said...

Welcome to bloggerland! I look forward to reading more stuff! And yes, I will hold back on the English teacher comments! It. Will. Be. :)

Cory said...

Thank-you, i appreciate it.

Diane said...

Welcome to blog-land Cory! I love reading your're not alone in your helter skelter. I prefer to think of life as a run away train and I'm hanging on for dear life, sometimes whacking the tracking as I bounce...maybe you're there with me! Each and every baby step will be better, promise. Well done!