Merry Fucking Christmas

             So where to begin. Well first off, I'm sorry, i apologize for my late postings, i have been very self absorbed as of late, and just can't seem to find the time these days. I will do my best to make a greater effort to write more frequently for you people. Wouldn't want my loyal fan base of 4 to be disappointed. There, apologies out of the way, on to other things.
          
            MERRY CHRISTMAS! Happy New Year! BLAH BLAH BLAH... Seriously, you can all take your good spirits and stuff em right up your merry asses! I grow exceeding wary of all this good will towards men, and happy cheery BS. The economy is still fucked, money is still stupid tight, and yet we still all seem to feel the need to spend money on a bogus amount of gifts because someones Messiah was born on an upcoming day. And lets just not get carried away here, its not like this is the first "god" like being to be born on Dec 25th. Do some homework people and before you condemn me to a burning hell after life, realize that one book just re-wrote what another book had already written, again and again, so long as there has been written word... Bill said it best when he described religion. If a few people believe in a zombie that can walk on water they are crazy, but if a few million believe, then its religion! My point being - I'm tired of the commercialization of a holiday, I'm tired of religion - all of them. And I'm especially tired of people passing on the Christmas spirit like they just watched Scrooged 25 times in a row... This is the same assholes than not two weeks ago, and two weeks from now that will speed up if you try and pass them, not signal, cut you off in lines, give you the finger, steal a parking spot and most likely spit on you rather than talk to you any other given day of the year. But because "tis the season" we all should just roll over and be nicer. Well fuck me, if ever a hypocrisy existed... Enough about that. Sorry but i just couldn't keep it in any longer.

            My gym still goes OK, if not a little less motivated than usual. Running is OK, and should be back on track as soon as i get my treadmill re-assembled. Ya it broke, i took it apart, ordered the part, its now arrived - damaged, but i think i should still be able to use it. I will put it together tomorrow most likely, and if all goes well, should be back to 4-6 miles twice a day. Eating still is an issue for me, and i recognize emotional eating patterns. This is going to stop. Well that's the diet/health thing in a nut shell...

          Turning 38 next month and i have to say I'm more than a little disappointed with how long it has taken for me to move forward in my life. Things should be back on track and heading in all the right directions by now, god its been over a year, and still I'm dragging my ass. Don't know what the issues are, but i seriously have to move through them. Finishing school hopefully by end of January, and with any luck the RCMP will say yes, and i can be a cop by year end of 2011... Who knows, but at least its a direction right. Failing that, i might just decide the Army calls, if i can get the boys behind me. Otherwise its back to the grind and try and figure out what in my life is missing or broken. Anyway this is my pre-holiday blog, I'm sure i will have lots more to say post this great season.

         Thanks for listening - er reading, or whatever.

Never again?!

Never again. Simple words, entirely straight and to the point. Very easy to understand, never really requires any thought or interpretation. Only one catch; you can't forget what it was you'd never let happen again. That is the hard part. What exactly was it that you said would never again happen, and why did you say it to begin with, and more importantly did you say it with any resolve, or was it just a bad moment? And then there's the final factor. Is there wiggle room? Is there an allotted amount of "give" to this resolve, or is this a resolute unwavering line that will never again be crossed? Can your promise to yourself be softened, relaxed and used more as a guideline, rather than a rule? Oh and this is a good one, and is there an exception to breaking the rule, ignoring it, or perhaps letting it "slip" once and awhile? What ever are the penalties, punishments or consequences to being less to yourself?
Lots of questions to one simple statement, and questions i find need answers, now rather than later. So many times i get the warning in my head, the pain in my stomach that reminds me, warns me, prods me to remember my resolve, and all the while questions me to why i ever made it. Its like chasing something unknown through the dark, only to catch it and not understand or remember why you were chasing it at all. I can't even say its frustrating, more perhaps disappointing than anything else. Every fibre in my being is screaming at me, and for the life of me, i can't understand what its saying. Is this what the jumper on the bridge is doing? Is he standing there for long hours, fucking up traffic and every ones day by listening to the screams, trying to decipher if they are saying, "no don't do it!" or "jump, do it!"? What exactly is it saying to me, and why can't i remember what it was i wasn't going to let happen again? Was is it that i was never again going to be complacent with my life and how i move through it day in and day out? Or was it that i would never again let myself be open to getting hurt, build my walls and hide behind them? OR was it i would never again hide behind them?! Would i never again be trusting, or was it never again let my heart blind my mind, or my heart should always lead?  Was it a blanket coverage of "never again", meaning i would never again let all these things happen; even though they contradict one another quite often. Was i never again going to let my life slide by without the steering wheel firmly in my hand, Never going to be fooled by my heart, or lose the opportunity to love because of my head? Whatever it was and however it was said, it seems to be pounding on my door, and either im terrified to open it and look, or im trying desperately to get it open and can't get the lock undone, either way it's near unbearable.
Too many times, too many lives, too many. And every time it returns me to here, a crossroads of sorts. Keep on going on, or time to make a hard right, or firm left and drive my way, my direction, for me. At what point is it ok to push my life, my destiny in my favor, damning all others around me to sort out the mess? Or is it cowardice? Should i continue to bare the burdens of my responsibilities and justify my existence as necessary for others, or do i place myself first at all other costs. And christ if i do, am i breaking my resolve, or strengthening it? Its maddening!

Wow, just read my prattle and realized how fucked up my head is right now, sorry for the Edgar Allen Poe drivel i spewed, WTF  right??? No worries, all will be good, in time. Till then...

WTF is with drivers today? Yep serious question, and as you are mostly all driving ask yourself this... If you were walking to the movies and someone walked quickly past you, would you speed up so they didn't get in a line before you? And if someone was walking in front of you, and stopped, would you yell at them, maybe scream a profanity, and run around them? If you were in an elevator and someone was trying to get in when you were trying to get out, would you be polite and let them in, then step out, or would you just jump out in front of them and give them a dirty look? Point here, drive like you walk. Don't be a jerk, be courteous, give a little. Or some of us will drive like we walk... With a big stick!

Paying the price

In as many days as its been, I've lost count of the numerous things i have seen, been aggravated about, and wanted to bitch about. So, instead i will do what i should have months ago, and vow publicly to renew my resolve. I will, without question, begin to run more regularly, work out harder, eat better and become the person i intend to be. Not just physically but mentally as well. I will complete my education, upgrade where necessary and then take a serious look at career training, rather than just self employment, as that seems to be failing the pay scale as of late.
        Why you ask am i doing this? Why now? Why should i be concerned after I've accomplished so much already. I will use a term that we used to say daily while i served... Complacency kills. That's right, if you become complacent, if you relax your resolve, settle for the ordinary, get comfortable with your surroundings, you will soon find that the "everyday" will be the death of you, or in this case, the death of your progress. Like all things, in order to show improvement in what you choose to do, you must change the lifestyle that supports it. You cannot quit drinking then have a little here and there - ask any A.A. member. Same goes for health and fitness. You cannot expect to win if you change your eating and exercise habits just until you reach a goal. Inevitably you will return to your old habits and become just the thing you trained so hard to leave behind. So, i can honestly say, i have become complacent; and its killing me. I don't run like i did, i don't train like i did, i don't weigh as little as i did, and i don't look as good as i did - just 4 months ago... So much work undone by so little effort. Its horrible. If every day i had to run to a location to feed myself, and everything i put in my mouth i had to lift 500 times, there is a good chance i would eat less, and be more careful i what i ate, and when. So i begin anew. I will harden my resolve, i will re-enforce my will, and i will once again do whatever is necessary to see my goals and wants achieved. (So long as my wants aren't pie and cookies :) ). Currently i weigh 225LBS, up from the 214 i so easily achieved not 3 months ago. I will vow to be down to 210 before my 38th birthday this January. I will also achieve a 48 minute 10km run. Add to this "realization of goals", the goal of achieving better company success, or better employment income, through work or a new Career.
Wish me luck!

O Canada

Well i guess it was only a matter of time. Without much noise or fan fair, here we are, all wondering the same thing. How ever did we get these new laws in effect and never ever have a chance on voting on them, or even having a say on how they work. We are supposed to be a democracy, but no one i can think of had any say on what is taking place here. So we just eat it, like always... Well if no one else will say something, i sure in the hell will...
              Ok if you are going to change drinking and driving laws, then have it make some sense... As it stands today, a couple couldn't go for dinner and have a glass of wine without risking vehicle impoundment, thousands in fines, and loss of licence. No they won't get drunk, hell they won't even feel the glass of wine, but god knows after they have it they become the most dangerous couple on  the road next to Mickey and Mallory Knox!. Come on already, i get it, don't drink and drive! Ok fine, but be serious, zero tolerance? Fuck off - last time i checked 0.08 was more than fair. But now its not safe if we are at 0.05... If its that much of a risk and safety issue then maybe you should be banning alcohol and going back to prohibition! Now lets add to this rediculousness with a new speeding law... 40km over the limit - and again with the fines and the licence and the impounding of the car, etc... IF you want to enforce speed limits, then maybe its time you reveiw the limits to begin with. Zero ave is a great example my friend put out... It is a long farm road that borders the US and EVERYONE takes as an alternate to the freeway to get to town... It currently has a posted limit of 50km/h... Ok so why then does Vye rd have an 80km/h limit? If you change the laws, then review the limits too... Zero ave's limits were set in the 40's... Cars today are better than cars in the 40's - they stop better, they corner better, they are safer. Hell 50km/h is intersection speed, not open road speed. Now if this were a movie this would be enough drama right? Nope this is life, so lets add a new cell phone law too... The only thing to say about this one is this; If you're a shit driver, and crash when using a phone and driving, don't do it. Seriously people, should we have a law about not letting anyone in Richmond back into parking stalls because they tend to crash more? Maybe a law that says no more left hand turns because intersections are dangerous, 3 rights will make a left. GOD!!!
        So why do they change the laws without looking at the real problems? Well you're gonna love this. The provincial governement just put together a team of 50 employee's to collect fines and penalties over these new laws, because they recognize the revenue this is going to generate!!! Thats right, after the HST they can't take more from us openly, so they have decided its better to smack us on the pee pee's and make us feel bad for doing what we do, rather than being mad at them for doing what they do! So, HST, new fines and laws, all so that we can what? Right, save ourselves from a poor economy. Listen, i love BC but my god can our governments take any more fun out of our lives without just kicking in our doors and taking what they want? What next, manditory house hold searches for illegal stuff? Jailing for downloading, or debtors prison? I thought society was moving forward, not backward. There are less freedoms in this country now, than there were when i fought for them 17 years ago. Why'd i fight for them again?

      OK fine, im sorry. Before any of you post comments on how you've lost a loved one to drinking drivers or road racers or such, i'll say it now, sorry. Im not talking about the assholes, im talking about joe average, late for work, tight in the wallet cause of the economy, getting completely fucked over because our local government is fucked up.  Lets look at this another way... Our beloved province passed a law you have to pre pay for fuel because 1 guy played the hero on a gas and run situation and died. Horrible as it was, lets be real here; Cops die every day being hero's. Firemen die every day being hero's. There is no law that says all flamable items must be accompanied with a fire extinguisher. Nor are there any laws that say any persons doing harm to any officer must be killed or thrown from the country. Nope, cops keep dying, firemen keep dying doing things they know are dangerous, but no law changes there. 1 hero at a gas station dies and we change society interaction immediately. Again not taking away from this kids death, but come one, when is it going to be enough? When is it going to be that the politically correct way isn't the only way? Lets face it, we all grew up being told we were bad, being spanked, failing grades, being held responsible for our actions, and still turned out ok. Now we have to pass kids so they don't feel bad, we have to have fun when we compete, its not about winning, and if you speak your mind out loud, you are immediately a racist, a narrow minded red neck, or a cold person. Ahhhh! Get over it people! You might actually have sucked in school - thats why you should fail. You might have deserved losing in sports, try harder!

      In the end my point is this; Why does our government continue to punish us horribly for the minor things, and continue to let rapists, murderers, child molesters, and repeat offenders on the streets? I'll tell you why, its money. Our government has become a business not a governing body. They can't make money off of scum because they have none. Why fine a zero, he can't pay, and has nothing to offer. But fine the blue collar guy, he will cary the government pensions for us, the medical system and our exorbanent wages and tripple pensions just fine. If our government really wanted to save money and tighten the budget, they could. Google this because im not making it up;

• Correctional services expenditures totalled almost $3 billion in 2005/6, up 2% from the previous year.
• Custodial services (prisons) accounted for the largest proportion (71%) of the expenditures, followed by community supervision services (14%), headquarters and central services (14%), and National Parole Board and provincial parole boards (2%).
• This figure does not include policing or court costs which bring the total expenditures up to more than $10 billion for the year.

Do the math people... the average cost to house a rapist is $94,553.25 per year... Most of us don't come close to that income yearly... So maybe if we actually killed the murderers, rapists, violent criminals we would have surplus in our budget. This would lead to less taxes, better funded medical and educational system, which would also lead to less need from our government to take more from us to save our ever buggered deficits and economy. But its just politically incorrect to kill the bad people. They can be reformed, saved, turned around... If i told the father of a girl that got raped, or a mother of a son that got killed at a gas station, that they could make $94,000 a year, for the entire time of incarseration of the offender, if they just had to kill the bastard, i pretty much gaurantee they'd do it. So instead of giving a tax payer $94k a year, they spend it on someone who will not pay taxes, who will not get "better" and most likely will never be a positive contributer to society.
        Im not saying the prison system and capital punishment is the answer. Im saying its one step, and there is hundreds more our government could be doing , rather then taxing and squeazing all the money out of joe average. Thats all...

Oh but right, its not politically correct....

A real man

Well its about time i make a post here, that some people need to seriously read. I may be out of date, or old fashioned or hell, maybe even sexist, but why o why do women have the need to believe that romance novels are anything but novels? And for the record, I'm not attacking anyone specific here, or dropping hints or anything. I am merely making an observation, because its starting to kill me. This whole politically correct society we live in is just starting to wear thin on me, and the BS is really starting to stack up, so i figured I'd just put it out there. OK, so I'm getting a bit tired of some facebook comments that keep floating around, describing to women what the perfect guy is. It goes something like this:
               
                               "If you hang up he calls you back. He doesn't tell you you're sexy or hot, he says you're beautiful. He holds your hand in front of his friends and shows you off. He will take you to a chick flick and cry with you, he might menstruate somewhat but he's still a man...." BLAH! Its this kind of drivel that got women reading romance novels and watching Dr. Phil. I don't know if its just me, or if its that I'm out of touch or out of date, but this is my take on what a real man should be like:


                              We have calloused hands because we work hard, at work or in the gym, or whatever. We will not call someone back who hangs up on us. You hung up for a reason, why would we go against your wishes? We do not own a magic 8 ball, and do not read minds or believe for a minute that we should already know whats wrong. If there was something wrong you would have told us. We want to hear about your problems because we want to solve them. Bitching about them and doing nothing to resolve the issue is just bitching. We actually believe violence will and can solve some problems. We have taken and given someone a punch, because they/we deserved it. We  tell you you're hot and sexy because we  believe you're hot and sexy. If we didn't think you were beautiful we wouldn't be with you.  We don't actually like chick flicks, and although we are capable of crying, we choose not to at all costs. Its not that we are afraid people will see us cry, its because we know crying doesn't solve anything, and there is a time and a place for such things. Crying because we are upset isn't going to solve the problem, and if it did, we would... A lot. We are OK if you dress us, we understand you know fashion and are OK with the input. We will not wear a cardigan regardless of what you say. We want to look our best for you, but understand, we still are men. We are OK taking on responsibilities, even if the weight of them will cripple us, and crush us in a world of stress. Its our duty as men to take them on, and we do it regardless to ourselves.  We do the right thing, even when the result of the right thing brings us grief, pain, and in some instances death. We believe that women and children are fragile, delicate things that should never be harmed, at all costs.


I could go on, but I'm sure you all get the message. We as men, feel duty in making sure that your problems become ours, so we can make them go away. We love and cherish you, because if we didn't, again we wouldn't be there.  If you're looking for a guy with perfect hair, dresses amazing, soft hands with manicured finger nails, who doesn't swear, has no scars, or cuts on his hands, and really believes Fuchsia is a color, than you're not looking for a man, you're looking for a woman with a penis. Now I'm not saying that if you know a guy like that, he's not a man. I'm just saying if someone try's to rob you on a dark street one evening, there is a very good chance you're going to lose all your stuff if he's with you.


So that's it, it had to be said. If you're a guy and disagree with me, then fine. Its you're choice, but you know deep down when push came to shove, you have to put up or shut up, so hey, maybe its time you step up...

Woah, 19 days

19 days without a word, you know if he was alright, i think we would have heard (Bar Stool Profits). Anyway, that bit of early ninety's digression aside, HIDE E HO everybody. Long long long time, sorry. Life is without question busy these days, and although im totally making excuses, i really didn't have time, or rather take the time to write. What between kids back to school, summer BBQ's, camping trips, work, games of bejewelled, and what not, time has not been on my side.  Whats new one might ask? Well, back at it hard in the gym, running is starting to pick up again and im slowly working out the kinks in my sea food diet... Lately i see food and eat it, which is becoming an issue. All things considered its been a very busy, intresting and fun summer. I do have however, some minor, little, minescule observations i'd like to register. Again to save time and energy, so i can get back to doing as little as possible it seems, i will bullet form these for you, and again leave you to draw your own conclusions.

• Fat people, discustingly obese fat people, should NEVER wear bikini's or SPEEDO'S
• The older i get, the more it hurts when i try and ride my dirt bike like when i was 20
• Little frogs feel and sound like bubble wrap under your feet
• Mike knows Ghetto speak like no white man should
• I do not like Korean lettuce wraps
• Tequila when taken 40oz at a time can enduce some of the worst of, well, everything
• Women neither show or say what they feel unless they 110% need you to know
• I can cook dead animal on a BBQ like no ones business
• My sons know entirely too much about firearms
• My oldest now understands, gets, and needs girls in his life
• music that sucked when i was younger, still sucks now
• time can heal some wounds
• waiting forever for something to happen that never does, is you're own fault
• bugs, when shot into your face at 110km/h hurt, taste bad, and may be blinding
• a big part of me misses the army, a bigger part of me never wants to see it again
• it is possible to get lost in someones eyes
• Toronto Maple Leafs still suck
• Smores are still the best camping desert on the planet

Now it wouldn't be me to leave it at this, so i too have made some other "observations", that i need to share.

• Parents who can't control their children should be beaten or at least flogged
• telemarketers suck
• boomerangs are the only things that should leave and come back
• the fat obese handy dart driver who though himself a traffic cop that was unhappy with my sign language can still fu*k off
• If you have the energy to beg for money, you have the energy to get a job
• unless a sales rep for a company, you cannot sell me shit in my store
• stealing from me or my business partner is pretty much a "i like to eat from a straw" confession
• if you act like a dirt bag, dress like a dirt bag and sound like a dirt bag, you're a dirtbag
• bad service will = no money from me. It will also = bad press... DO NOT eat at Morgans at Harrison - you've been warned
• if you feel like you might be imposing, you probably are
• if you never needed an invite before, and now you do, then yes, something is wrong
• use someone else

Well thats that.  Some observations, some stories to be shared later perhaps, but for now, just bullet points. Have fun thinking it out, and i'll chat with you later.

Oh hello!

Well my 5 followers, hello and salutations! Long time no writing - sorry. I've been so damn busy lately that i just havent had the time of day! I have had two weeks off for vacation - sorta, and with the kids its just been a bit much to get 20 minutes out to put my thoughts on paper, er monitor, ah... You know what i mean. So whats what? Well my weight is still floating around the 220 mark which is a piss off but not a surprise. I havent been running lots with the vacation thing going on, and the gym is hard to get too when you're out of town for two of the last 4 weeks. Annnd lets face it you don't eat so well when you're on vacation to begin with, so i guess i should be glad it hasn't gone up. All that aside, im re-doubling my efforts starting Monday, which pisses me off to even think it. EVERYONE starts on a Monday, no one ever starts on a Tuesday or a Friday... I just know with my kids home this week, and i have such a busy weekend it will be impossible to get a good start, so next week it is... Maybe Sunday night if time permits. I've been happy for the most part this month, but i have to be honest, i was more than a little pissed with a facebook comment i fell across yesterday. It amazes me how i can actually SCHEDULE time off, well in advance and still get asked to come  back early to work, then be made to look like the bad guy for taking time off to begin with. Might not have been the intention, but it sure looked like a "poor me, im so hard done by" comment, when i in fact cancelled my vacation plans early on both weeks to help out. If it was any other work place i would have had my vacation time off, without concern for others, but its not, its my business so i do concern myself with others, and in the end it felt like i was being made to look like the bad guy for taking time off. Never a mention of "wow im so lucky to have someone cancel their vacation time early twice so i can do my own thing, what a great partner". Nope, instead i get the i hope i get time off already, im such a poor over worked slave. Really its BS, but hey it always looks worse from the other side right? Im probably being over sensative about it anyway, but boy it got me hot. Im over it....
So what else to share? Well recently i went to my Ex-inlaws place for 3 days with my boys to relax and boat and just get things "back to normal" if it could be possible. Surprise surprise i think its possible. Still  a few awkward unwanted conversations that aren't avoidable, and the always looming "don't talk about it, and it didn't exist" feelings of unfinished drama - but all in all very comfortable, very receptive and honestly felt like my parents again. Very happy with it, and honestly can't wait to see them again. Weird right?
 Yep so some days with them, some days with great friends camping and bam, two weeks (ish) gone and back at it harder than ever. I have every intention of getting down to the 205 mark before the year is out, and i have every intention of bringing my company back into the black if it kills me. We're not lost, but god damn we are pushing the 8-ball around a lot lately. This economy will turn around sooner or later and we just need to hang in there until it does. Im confident i have the right partner, business, and drive to make it happen, its just a matter of time and discipline to see the changes through. Not that i don't have faith i can't do it, or rather WE can't do it, i still purchase the occasional lottery ticket. (Who knows right? Can't win if you don't play).
So not to say i spend a lot of time reflecting on my life during the last 3 weeks or so, but i did have a few quickly realized observations about myself. I do a lot of thinking when i run and work out, and although i didn't get lots of that in i did try here and there. So what did i "observe"? Well, im still horribly co-dependant, and well - im good with it. It no longer bothers me that i don't like being alone. Im ok with admitting it. I really don't want to change it, i like being around others and well, who really enjoys solitude? Second thing i noticed - I'm a  bit sensative about how others think about me. I thought i didn't give a shit about what others thought, but i guess deep down inside, all of us are somewhat concerned on how the world views us. I was lying to myself to think otherwise, and so are you if you think you don't care. The real gem of knowledge that i picked out of all of this was that im ok with not being liked. Everyone wants to be liked, or thought well of, but in the end not everyones gonna like me and its ok.
So ya thats it, thats all i got... I know not any major ranting or carrying on about shit, but hey this past few weeks or so its all been about my kids, and my time spent with them, and well, nothing i can bitch about there. So until next time...

Camping, chaos, and the park nazi

So i took a full week off work (well ok, Saturday to Thursday) which is like a month to anyone else because i NEVER take serious time off, and well, IT WAS AWESOME. Seriously had a great time, with great people, and really did enjoy my time off... Did i relax? Well, i did have about a 1/2 hour in a hammock of sheer blissful silence, but aside from that it was more of a do everything everday kinda vacation... FUN STUFF.. We did some target shooting with a pellet rifle (don't  get me started about my real guns), and did lots of dirt biking... Hey i can't help it if im a pro bike jumper these days! I did some singles, doubles and a few very precarious triples along with some great hill climbs and a real wicked wall ride (Wik. it up bitches).  Did some crazy kite flying and some swimming, as well as some cool hikes and one great trail run ; too short, but tons of fun, i think i might do way more of it - great cardio cause its way harder to pace yourself on trails. I will have some photos to follow once i actually get some down time to download the camera - still doing laundry and unpacking from the week. Hell even the dog had a great time, exhausted and tired every night. AND i discovered i can really cook it up camp style. I really have to work on portions though, seems i contantly have the need to cook it all so it doesn't spoil or whatever. Seriously 4 people and i cooked 9 chicken breasts, 1lbs of ground prime rib and made burritos... Eat much? Lord knows i fear the scale this week... Time to start running hard again and the gym is seriously calling my name after a full week off... 
So this is the part you're all waiting for... Park Nazi. Well, this old guy, clearly on the retired to early and needs the income but doesn't want to work a real job guy, takes the job as park supervisor. Him and his cue-tip haired wife. Well, lets just say that if they were school hall monitors, you'd have a better chance breaking out of prison than walking their halls. My dog, tired, hot, sleeping on his side, and off leash... 5 minutes he's there telling me to get my dog on a leash. Oh and lets not forget the long weekends over, every fucking person leaves except us, and he's like, hey you cant park at the boat launch... Seriously enough room to turn a semi around in, with my truck in the way, not a soul in site, and he's on us like white on rice. Don't even get me started on the whole, "don't let me see your dirt bikes" comment. Apparently having any ATV style vehicle is strictly prohibited on provincial camp sites, even if not 200 yards away is some  great riding trails NOT in provincial park space. He was going to call the police because an 8 year and 11 year old rode on the actual pavement the 200 meters to the trails rather than have me load, drive and unload them... "Did you know it was against the law to ride a non licenced vehicle on the roadways"? Yes sir i did, but did you know they don't give bonus's or medals for being the biggest hard ass in all BC parks award? Seriously i get the need for rules, but i can assure you my two boys on their 4 stroke trail bikes were not speeding, doing wheelies, burn outs or drifting around the corners... They were saving a very tired dad from having to load  dirt bikes to drive 200 meters and unload. And god damn, why is it that 6 people rent two spots and he is all like you cant have 3 vehicles stay here over night - move them or i have to bill you...Do park supervisors make commission? Kite flying was frowned upon, and swimming to cool down after packing to leave, earned us a move your vehicles cause its passed 11 or i will have to bill you comment. I swear if my kids weren't around it would have been a donut extravaganza with my dirt bike all over the fucking park just to give him something to rake for the next 2 weeks. Maybe then the other campers could actually relax and not worry about being put into labor camps for not cleaning up there picknic tables better. Someone seriously needs to tell that dude the the BC parks golf shirt they gave him has the emblem embroidered on the chest, its not a badge, and chill the fuck out!
Anyway, no big issues and still tons of fun , even if the Natzi was always lurking around...one week of work to go then one more week off...Maybe the second week will be more fun, more relaxing, less nazi camping.

The sun will shine...

So where or where to begin... well, this past week or so has been a lesson in karma. I've said it many times, but i finally get to see it. The sun will shine on a dogs ass once and awhile. Thats right, eventually when you endure, you might find yourself wagging your tail and bam! Sun beams baby. So there it is, happy days, where and when you least expect it. Great right? Well, like all great things, with the good comes the bad. Seems if I claim one of my children as a dependent, and my ex wife claims both, they see need to audit me not her. Go figure. Thats right, im happy as all can be this last little bit, and wammo - GOC just decides its time to check out my pesonal taxes a little closer than usual. Am i worried? No - ive been a good boy, haven't tried to slide anything past our government, and have made fuck all, so really theres not much they can take. But seriously, fuck you Canada - i've served you, i've killed for you, hell i've bled for you, and how do you say thanks? By scrutinizing my taxes. Fuck me, why don't you do something more productive with your time like auditing your own government officials, or people that actually are screwing you like 3/5ths of your entire employee base! Ok, sorry, that was out of line, not all government employees screw the government and take advantage of the flag. Just when i hear stories from friends of mine that go on compo for 11 weeks for cracking his elbow, cause he fell asleep at work in his chair and fell kills me. No im not telling who. Anyway that was quite the ramble for an entry to my blog. Im going to recap then get to the bitching... I am happy! I am getting audited, i am bitter and im not really a fan of government workers these days... Which brings me to my bitch. Why o why can the local government hire private companies to do road work on a freeway, and they work from like 11pm to 5am, and can pave 20km a night without disturbing any traffic, but when the city does its own work, they have to do it during the day, in the middle of every rush hour, morning or afternoon, disrupting every fucking person who actually needs to get to work. Seriously, WTF is the thought pattern to putting a work crew out to do whatever - sewer repairs, road upgrades, infastructure improvements, or whatever, in the middle of the fucking day on the busiest street in town? Seriously, is the workers rights that violated that you can't make them take a grave yard shift now and again? I mean in this current economy, who'd bitch to get $25+ per hour plus pension and benifits, if it meant you had to work at night. Besides its fucking 34 degrees outside, wouldn't you rather be working in the cool of the night, rather than frying in the day? I shit you not, it took 40 minutes to get from one end of my town to the other including trying alternate routes, and every fucking major roadway was under construction. AND ever flag bag in the industry is terrified you're gonna kill em cause one of their kind died earlier this year... Ok i know, but come on... If one cop died in the line of duty, does that excuse every other cop on the force to be a super prick for the next 6 months? So between road work and flag bags really trying to enforce the "slow"sign; 40 minutes. Let  me put this in perspective... From one end of our major road, to the other is less than 10km... The beginning of this month i RAN 10k in 50 minutes... WTF?
Oh and while im still on track here... SHUT THE FUCK UP about how hot it is. PLEASE. You cannot whine and bitch for months on end on how its cold, rainy, wet, and there is no spring, then get great weather and bitch... Thats crap, and you know it. DEAL WITH IT.

Thanks,

WTF people?

So like sands through the hour glass, blah blah blah, like im supposed to know how it goes... Days of my lives. Seems a suiting start to this blog today. My life, well has been full of some good ups and down downs the past little while that to tell you about it would be, well, just too much to type. Lets just say its amazing the impact the opposite sex has on my life, and more amazing is the lack of impact physical exertion has been on me. Im running more than ever these days - as far as distance and pace go, and the gym is finally producing some gains in the messurement department! Added a few inches to where i wanted, and took a 1/4 inch off of where i wanted. I know 1/4 but hey, ill take what i can get. Took the hooligans to an outdoor rope, cable zip line, tree climbing adventure park thing called Wild Play yesterday, and to be honest, i think i had more fun than they did. BUT it was very hard on the body - i sweat like crazy, climbed till my hands were exhausted and scared myself just a tad the last little bit. Lets just say swinging into a cargo net from 100 ft in the air, at a very quick pace is a bit crazy. Fun times!
Right, now to the part you all have come to expect... WTF is wrong with people? Serious question here... Why do people do what they do? The human being has naturally ingrained in them the need to attract a mate and breed. Its what every species on the planet does, right? So how in the fuck can people go out in the summer, dressed like they do? I'd include pictures but to be honest, didn't have the intestinal fortitude to actually take pictures of the fine human specimens i had to look upon this morning in Wal-Mart. Don't even get me started about Walley world, but i needed some dog food and had to be somewhere at 9 and they were the only option i had so... I bought the smallest bag of the best shit they offer. Enough said. BUT... I thought people for the most part were vayne. How ever do you leave the house with the shortest of shorts on, and the tightest fitting shirt on, and not look in the mirror and go wow - is that really my ass hanging out of these shorts? Is that really my stomach over hanging my near stretched to the max near invisable shorts? Or hey, i know its summer, so why don't i wear as little as possible and go in public? It only attracts a mate, if your mate is as nasty as you. Even then, near blindness and lack of smell are skills required to keep that person even remotely near you at any time. MY GOD people its called de-oderant! I don't care if i can see you sweat, just don't smell like you wash with a trout! When someone asks you if you'd like a piece of gum, always say yes, it might be an indication that your breath is questionable. When someone randomly has the urge to hose you down and cover you in a bucket of baby powder, maybe its time to do something about it. Seriously now, if you go like, "hey what is that smell" and your car windows are rolled up... Its probably you. Now that i reflect on what i've written i've come to the conclusion that most likely the people im describing don't have a pc and will never see  this, and most likely their car lacks windows that operate, so clearly today was to bitch for the sake of bitching. Sorry... To all the others out there that do your best, thank-you, its appreciated. And hey, everyone has a bad day, and why not go to Walmart on the bad day, seems everyone else does...

Running, with nothing to rant about!?

Alrighty then.... Yes it was a great run for the cure - Vancouver's Underwear Affair. Had a great time, even if i nearly died of heat exhaustion, dehydration and embarassment. That said, it was way easier to walk around in my underwear, when 900 other people are doing it too. Posted a good time of 50:27 for the 10k, and im sure next year i'll do better, because i will know how far from the finish i am, and can give it that much harder. I probably will also not stop for a beer on KM 8. I did, i know, and i don't think it will happen again.

So as i've been told, it was all great times, nothing to bitch about, so, i hate to say but WRONG. Quite a bit to bitch about really... First off, we have to get there, we have to run in our underwear, would it not make sense to actually have change rooms? Seriously im 215lbs, not the biggest guy, but shoulders are wide enough that its near impossible to actually get changed in a porta-potty. BS absolute BS, very poorly thought out. Seriously, who is going to go and get gas, a drink, or commute an hour plus in their underwear. WE NEED A PLACE TO CHANGE! Secondly, telling us there is a secure spot for our belongings makes us feel that much better. Until we get there and their idea of a secure spot is a 10x10 tent with no walls and coat hangers... and lets not forget the sign that says, "we're not responsible for lost or stolen belonging". Really fucking secure, i feel way better leaving my wallet, phone, helmet and clothes behind. Oh did i mention they actually lost my helmet and phone, and i had to track them down and look in a lost and found?! VERY SECURE. Thank christ i gave my wallet to a friend. Thirdly, if you're going to run 10K you might wanna know how far you've traveled without having to spend money on fancy counters, or whatever - mark the fucking course better. K? Don't get me wrong, they did a stellar job all and all, but as i've stated early on, that doesn't excuse me from bitching about it :). Finally, when you finish your race, good job all of you by the way, do us a favor and post the results on one of the mega big screens throughout the event. Having hundreds of sweaty people crowd around a table with the smallest print possible to get results suck. Add to that a group of people that needed to hang out for 10 minutes and text their results while being over the table because their combined IQ couldn't remember the numbers for the 10 seconds required to send the text. (So close to throwing them outa my way). Seriously stood patiently, well ok not so patiently, waiting till they actually finished taking photo's with their phones, forwarding their pics, then texting their results, that required multiple looks at the list, all the while bent over the table and fucking the rest of us out of the results for much longer then required.
Thats it, bitching is done. Had a great time, wicked actually, and will DEFINATELY do it again next year. So just so you all know, i WILL be digging for donations again next summer. Sorry. Great cause, great people, except for the group around the results, and can't wait till next year...

July 8th? Really???

Wow, really July 8th? Did i really post nothing in the last  20 days? So much for daily huh... Well anyway, here i am, alive and well, or at least alive. We will leave the "well" for the professionals to decide. I usually get into a rant of some sort and tell you about how things piss me off, but i really don't feel like ranting today. It was guilt of no post that made me write today, that and i realized i was pissed about all the people going on about how hot it is. Ok, maybe a small rant...
YOU CANNOT bitch and moan all year about our shitty weather, than complain when we get the sun and heat! Ok, fine, complain away, just do me the favor of shutting the fuck up when you're around me ok? Seriously can't take the bitching and moaning about how we actually got what we wanted. k, done ranting. So um, ya thats it... Life is really busy this past few weeks, business is soft, stress is high, and im working on coping. I run a 10K charity run on Saturday sometime, i guess i should look into that, and am a tad nervous. I was running daily since October, but the last month or so i've backed off a bit, and the last 2 weeks ive been under the weather and have only ran like 3 times, soooo ya kinda scared im gonna tank it. Hopefully this sickness will pass in time for the race, but if not i know i will finish, just maybe off my desired time. Thats it, short and sweet. I will try and get more out more often as soon as i clear my chaos up a bit.

Later

Credit cards, banks, governments and call centres...

Alrighty then, here we go. Its been a few days since my last post, ok more than a few, sorry. In truth i've been busy, and very pre-occupied. I could tell you what i was up to, and share with you my very busy secretive private life, but then i'd have to kill you.
Just kidding, of course i'll share, thats what this is all about. Hey, guess what? If you give your money to a credit card company, to pay them back, and pay on line, its possible they will apply your payment to, well, um, ok they will just take your money and say nothing. Yep, thats right. I paid off a department store credit card last month in full, on line from my bank, and blam. A month later they don't have the money. I know i paid, my bank records show it. My bank says they gave the money to the credit card company, they have records to prove it. The credit card company, well.... they had FIVE financial institutions backing their card, and decided to get rid of them all and consolidate down to one.  Within 48 hours of receiving my money! So, somewhere in the shuffle, my $1000 payment is gone. Like the great Hoodini, vanished like magic. I use the card once, only once, to get some stuff for my new place, and a month later pay it off, in full, and blam... Just took the money but put it nowhere. My bank and they are trying to sort it out, until then im being charged interest, have no credit if i so wanted to use it (which will never happen again), and show's a debt unpaid and late, on my credit score. Who is this professional company you ask. Who can be so blatently ignorant with ones credit score, and cash? FUTURESHOP bitches. Fuck them. Seriously, the only thing of mine that will ever go into there doors again, will be a bottle of gasoline with a burning rag stuffed in the  top of it!
Deeeeep breath...... and counting....... ok, ok. Its fine, im better now. A month from now it will all be worked out and it wouldn't have mattered. So a very long introduction to my rant, but here it is; why is it that when a major company, bank or organization makes a mistake, they put you on to a help line to sort it out, and the call centre is in some foreign country where the person helping you has an accent so thick, its not only impossible to understand them, they actually can't undersand you?  While im a G note in the wind, im on the line with Amir, who apparently needs some information that is personal to berry-fy my persons. So if you really want to have some fun, when they ask for your postal code, give it to them in the phenetic alphabet. Oh, im sorry, thats where you use words to denote a letter... Example, my postal code is V2V4X7 so that would be victor 2 victor, 4 x-ray 7. right? ok, well when i gave Amir my postal code, he actually asked me who is Bictor, and could i please just give him the postal code. I think thats what he said anyway.  So while my problem isn't too complicated to explain, insert two people who cannot understand each other and what do you get? Transfers; transfers to supervisors who move you to another agent to help, who is no better than the last, who moves you to someone else, who by accident (right), disconnects you during the transfer! So call back and speak to Grukji instead! Seriously how tough would it have been to sit down at a desk with a real human in the branch and sort this mess out??? Oh quick side note, if youre ever on a computer automated phone system and the computer voice is asking for a audible response, just swear real loud and continueously for like 10 seconds and it will transfer you to a human... True story, did i mention i hate Telus too? Anyway, last time i checked the term "customer service" meant you would actually take care of your customer. I would rather be on a wait list, and die on hold, or have them call me back in a days time, if it meant i could speak to a human, one who i can understand, and one that would not finish with me until the problem was COMPLETELY resolved... If you bounce a cheque, a bank makes the adjustoment right away, so why is it if i want my $1000 back cause they didn't apply it correctly it will take 3 weeks or more to trace it and retrieve it? Again i digress, sorry... Call centre's suck, customer disservice is closer to the mark these days, and WTF is with the HST? I don't know if im for it or against it. I wish i could pick a side, but my beautiful government hasn't even sent me one letter to tell me how to pay it, collect it, report it, or how it will effect me, or my business or my customers! Bah! To hell with them too!!
Sooo, i got a little off topic, but seriously, i wish i was a little more informed than i have been. Hell i wish i had some information at all. Anyway, i've lost any sort of direction to this blog, and im so worked up now, its going to take a little while to calm down, so im calling it quits and gonna try again later.
For the record, they still don't know what happened to my money, i still don't know wtf is going on with HST, and Telus really doesn't like me anymore than i like them...

Oh if you want to laugh, go to this link http://theoatmeal.com/comics/customer_service to read a real special view on customer service calls...

Oh and im still running on the 10th of July and still need your donations !!! do it here please ---> https://secure2.convio.net/cfuaca/site/Donation2?idb=473849410&df_id=1200&FR_ID=1170&1200.donation=form1&PROXY_ID=1791901&PROXY_TYPE=20&JServSessionIdr004=5u1fuof2k4.app213a

Coffee and cars

Today i met a friend for a car coffee. For those of you who don't know, a car coffee is when you go to a Tim Hortons or a Star Bucks, go through the drive through, and then park in the parking lot to enjoy your friend, coffee, and not be interupted or over heard by lonely coffee shop drinkers. And as i drank my tea and we spoke, i couldnt help but notice the number of drivers that; CANT PARK, CANT NAVIGATE, and DONT GET IT moving through this parking lot. Yes bold letters were necessary. Ok, listen up; If you enter a parking lot and 15 cars are lined up in a drive through, you should not, and cannot enter the middle of the line and expect anything but anger, animosity, and hatered from anyone that would end up behind you. PERIOD - so dont look shocked when they honk, wave fists, and in the case of another friend, try and kill you with their own automobile! Secondly, the lines on the parking lot ground are NOT guidlines. They are there to give you a specific place to park. if at any time your wheels are touching them, or youre entirely crooked in your parking spot, fix it. Its called being courteous. Oh and if you think your automobile is so much better than others that you need two spots to stop anyone from dinging your doors or whatever, then do the right thing and park waaaaay back in the back 40, so as to not take prime spots 2 at a time. BECAUSE if it was me who needed the spot, and you were all ass like in your parking, id probably key the hell out of your car - asshole! Whew... Ok onward we go... Now i know there is no centre lines in the parking lot driving lanes, and i know there is not necessarily turning arrows or traffic lights or flag bags to tell you where to drive, but honestly, would it not be common sense in a busy parking lot to drive on the road ways and not cut through 3 or 4 parking spots to get back into the flow of traffic. Its ok if you do it, if you can do it, but when you can't, and the parking lot is major busy, its just all sorts of wrong. Besides, the people i watched today, almost rubbed mirrrors, one actually got out to look if they'd fit. It would have been faster just to enter a parking row back and drive the extra 50 yards. One last note - if you cant see the corners of your car, if you don't actually judge distance well, or quite honestly if it makes  you nervous to drive, park or navigate in tight places, then don't. Park way far away, walk in, walk out, and get the hell out of the other drivers way. Seriously the fact that drive throughs have cement posts to stop people from crashing their building is wrong, the fact that every one is scrapped and banged up is terrifying!
Wow... Aside from that small observation, tea was good, company was great, and i left the parking lot in the propper lanes, didn't cut anyone off, actually let a few people in while leaving and managed to do it without fist shaking, yelling, rubbing things or anything... I was however very perturbed about the rest of the parking lot idiots. You know who you are!

Fin

My mind, my dog, your murse

Well hello and salutations! Todays sarcasm is brought to you by the letters F & U and the number 2. 
After a good week of fumbling blindly through my emotions i have come to discover a few things that i wasn't totally aware of up until now. First off, i have a fear of commitment; but only when im alone. Wierd right? I also have a fear of being alone. I know kind of counter productive right? Crazy i know. Anyway those two emotional issues aside, I have discovered that nothing is more exciting than hanging leg raises, i can run 10k in 56 minutes, i can still bench press over 300lbs (yes there was some doubt there - not feeling overly strong these days),  a mattress memory foam pad makes my bed harder to get out of in the morning, and Gus really likes to watch me shower. I know, thats what i said. He probably cant understand why i get in a glass box and stand in the rain. He cocks his head sideways, and stares like im crazy. And i think he thinks its dangerous, or its a teleporter or something, cause when i get out he's all excited like there was a chance i wasn't coming back, like Scotty was going to beam me away. I know, but hey, he's my dog. Um, what was i going to say... Oh, you probably think im a bit off being excited about leg raises and running and lifting weights and stuff? No? Well you should, that really is crazy, it borders on sick actually. But it does help me think, maybe too much, but it beats walking around my house in circles talking to myself. Maybe the dog has some reasons to worry about me? ;)
Was there a point to my blog today? Oh yes, right... Murses are NOT cool. Come on guys, really? At what point in your life did you decide, hey, my girls purse looks really handy, i totally need somewhere to put my lip gloss and cell phone! You idiots, its a purse for gods sake. Remember growing up, shopping with your mom, and she'd be trying something on, and she'd tell you to hold her purse? You'd stand in the womens section right outside the change room door, dying a slow death cause everyone is looking at this guy holding a purse, and it was all you could do to even touch the thing never mind get the idea to hang it on your shoulder by its strap. So fast forward a couple decades and BAM! You want to hold your own purse, hang it from your shoulder, and think its cool... Seriously guys, WTF. I don't think i can actually think of any male icon that has been seen with a murse, so im trying to figure out who came up with the idea, who was trying to emulate who, and why ever didn't his buddy slap him around and ask WTF are you doing? If you're leaving your buddy's house and he came out of his room in a pink cardigan, white slacks, and a gold belt, you'd fucking say no way dude! Im not going in public with you like that, but you're all good with him and his purse? Wow, not a good friend at all. So there, im done, im over it... Murses are not cool. Oh and for gods sake, don't come into a COMBAT STORE and ask if we have murses, seriously thats grounds for a good smack right there...Ok im over it.
Ah ya, so thats it for now, and dont forget about todays letters and numbers... F U 2

WAY to much caffine, but thinking it helps me think...

What in the hell was i thinking... Why ever at 7 oclock would i take an energy drink? Right, cause i was super sleepy from my nap and HAD to go to the gym. So after the gym i was thirsty and wanted a protien drink, so clearly a booster juice was in order. Of course it had to be a real big one with their special energy blend and powdered GREEN  TEA. So here i am, after 1am and still friggen wired. My body is spent, but i couldnt close my eyes to stop someone from poking them! So, since sleep eludes me for now, i figure what better time to wrestle with my inner demons.
Something is missing; what exactly it is id rather not say, or for that matter admit, but definately something in my life is missing and its getting to me. What i have discovered in this self induced energy burst is that im way happier when i have this energetic pop in my step, and further more, i know i've had this feeling of energy without the suppliments. I know exactly how this feels on a natural level, cause almost all summer last year i felt it. Small windows of this "feeling" keep popping up, but then evade me, or i, it. Either way i really need to take the necessary steps to maintain this "feeling", because it is absolutely amazing when its there. Makes me feel like a kid again; well like a normal kid, not the kid life i had, but you get the idea. Happy, energetic, smiling like a fool, talking like everything that comes outa my mouth is some amazing apiphany (ya i know probably spelled that one wrong), and all the while oblivious to the shit storm around me. I LIKE IT! Not that im ignoring the obvious issues in my life, just more over being aware of the better things in life and taking the time to enjoy them. Makes me a better human when i feel that way. Less of a prick anyway. So, maybe some of you are wondering what i do, or did to get this way naturally? Well, not that im certain of exactly what i do, or did, but definately know some of the contributing factors, but if i tell you now then its quite possible while giving you some great wisdom, i may lose my chance to actually catch this feeling in the long run. I know its like im speaking in tongues right? Sorry, but until i actually wrestle this part of my life into place, id rather not say. You know what they say? No? Um.... Chickens, eggs,... Right, dont count your chickens before they hatch... or is it don't count your eggs before the chicken lays them? Whatever, dont do the eggs and chicken thing till you actually have eggs and or chickens... lol, im so scrambled right now - WAY to much energy, but with very little focus. Its ok, this is meant to be an exercise for me to ramble and clear my thoughts, if you find it entertaining than hurray for you. If not, i believe we covered your options earlier on in my blogs. SO, anyway what i guess im getting at is there are some parts of my life that make me exceedingly happy, and although i know what they are, i still stand aways away from getting them, or achieving them, and until i can figure out how to do that, any wisdom i impart on you will most likely be flawed, or worse, could steer you down a road ive taken that did nothing but lead me astray. So stay tuned and maybe sooner rather than later i might actually be able to share this great all empowering feeling and its secrets of possessing it. If not at least i've entertained you along the way... If you didn't get entertained along the way, then perhaps you really should have exercised option B... Again start my blog from the beginning and you will know what option B is.

:D

Sorry for the late reply

Well, what can i say? I guess i've just been too busy to post in the last few days, and well, im kind of disappointed about it. Seriously wanted to do a daily update on my brain, and all its hectic thinking, but life just got in the way. So anyway, here i go; to make up for lost time im just going to bullet point my bitches over the last 3 days...

• Sunday drivers
• Time wasting customers
• politically correct speak
• crack heads
• bad drivers - NOT the same as Sunday drivers
• telemarketers
• newspaper delivery
• shitty mail
• Mission City
• Abbotsford City
• Federal and Provincial Government
• Sour milk
• mouldy bread
• people who despite my partners best laid arguements, must call me on my day off!!!
• taxes

Now i assure you there is a story attached to each and every one of these gripes, but for time saving messures i will let you draw your own conclusions...
I do have some personal news that i just want to brag about... I ran 10k last night to see if i could come race day, and yes i can... In like 56 minutes!!! nice right? Well ive got to peel 6 minutes off that time if im intending to win a bet. well i really do have lots more to talk about, but seeing how i havent been posting daily as i wanted, im going to save more of this week for tomorrows post.
Later, skater

Sun, driving, and perfect endings

Well well well, look who it is, about time you showed your face around here! Sun o beautiful sun, how long we've all waited for your arrival. That said, thanks for the f'n sunburn fucker! Oh and thanks for hatching all the mosquito eggs too! You know, seriously, screw you! You wait all god damn spring, foresake us, leave us in the cold wet darkness that should have been a spring, then torch us near death with no warning or warm up... Seriously need to work on some manners here i think...Ah well, now that i've shared my personal opinion of how the sun has treated me, i must say its nice to have it out. Makes me want to never get off the motorcycle, and makes our business that much more business like. Wierd how people want to play stuff outside when its not raining. who'd a thunk it?? Anyway, summer is here for sure now and all the more excited i am about a vacation of some sort this year.

Now on to the ranting i so often get credit for. If you drive, and more importantly, if you drive poorly, "defensively", are scared to drive, or it makes you uncomfortable, then please... GET THE FUCK OFF MY ROAD!!! Honestly people when youre on a single lane highway, and you look in your rear view mirror and there is a load of traffic behind you, but its all clear in front of you, then that would be the time to identify that youre a shit driver. It would also be the time to speed up or pull over, NOT the time to tap your brakes as if to give me a warning you might stop suddenly. Lets face it, when you're moving that slowly and that cautiously, there isn't a chance in hell you'd actually spike the brakes. So your shinnanigans arent fooling any of us, and in fact we're all considering slashing your tires at the next gas station or rest stop you use. Yes thats right, i get pissy with other drivers less "motivated" than me. More acutely i get pissy with people who have no concern for the interuption they cause on the flow of traffic over all. I might be the one riding your ass, but its because i have someone riding my ass. MOVE. Oh and for christs sake, if you're on a two lane freeway or highway, move the fuck over! NOW!!! Seriously everyone has heard the "slower traffic keep right" saying, read it on signs, and whatever... THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU! You are slower traffic - so move, and save the dirty looks for someone else when i do finally pass you. Yes, i am pissed at you, yes i am all but pushing you down the freeway. Yes i get it, i made you feel uncomfortable... If you'd but just let me past, you could resume your Sunday drive with no stress. Instead you fuck with me, which stresses you. Then you shoot me a dirty look like im doing wrong. And lets face it, you look all angry and shit, but the second i suggest you pull over so we can discuss it in a more personal manner - youre suddenly in a hurry and cant stop. Maybe if you drove like you were in a hurry you wouldn't be giving me the finger, then looking away horribly quickly realizing you made a real dumb mistake. I am not above beating you into driving lessons, or driving retirement. All right, fine... Im sorry. I just get so god damn aggrivated when im trying to enjoy a nice cruise on the bike, and all i can think of is kicking your mirror off your car when i pass you. Just please, for all of us, take the slow lane when you can, and remember - just cause you pay taxes doesn't make it YOUR road. Its MINE ok? Don't forget it.

Ya, thats it. thats my gripe today. Have lots more to bitch about, but in truth it was all i could do to get this out. Took me all day to type it out and now after reading it over it seems all so angry. Im in a stellar mood now, my day couldnt have ended better baring a bathroom break (inside joke). I don't even feel this strongly about it now. Well, at least not until i drive tomorrow and you fuck with me again.  Screw you!

Jump around on topics much?

So today took a bit more time to consider what exactly i was going to write about. I thought for a moment that there is no way i can keep the pace of blogging every day, as with most things, it will lose its "newness" and i will be less and less intersted in posting. But actually i find myself having so many more topics i want to vent about, that i lose some of them because i don't start on them right away - i think this will give weight to my procrastination problem from my previous post. Anywho - so far so good - not at a loss and so the blogging daily will continue, time permiting.
Ever have one of those days, where all you seem to be able to do is reflect on past events? It doesn't matter how good or bad of a day you're having, it doesn't matter who you are with, it just seems to always pop in your head? Well that is my day today. I think i've revisited some of the worst and best times in the past year about a dozen times each today, and although some of the details have gone a bit fuzzy in the memory,  the emotions connected to them are still very much there. It really surprises me how a memory can hold more than you actually remember the moment meaning at the time. Does that make sense to you? It does to me. I can vividly remember this moment last summer, just sitting back and chilling on a big chair with a friend, failing at an attempt at nursing them back to health, as they were under the weather, watching a show that really i don't even like, and how comfortable it was. Now at the time i don't remember being overly excited, or overwelmed with crazy amounts of emotion, but when i think back on it now, it makes me smile like an idiot. It seems almost sureal; like at that moment something major took place, but at the time it was just TV and a big chair, hanging out. Strange how when given the time to reflect, you can actually "feel" what was going on, but in the moment although good as it was, you never put as much weight on it as you do when you think about it later. Again to revisit my last post - i really need to work on some of those regrets...

Did i mention something about venting??? Right. I had a casual conversation with a supplier today in Quebec, and by the time i got off the phone i was ready to spit acid. Its official, i hate, despise, neh, loathe french Canadians, or rather french Canada. I hate the fact that they see english as a handicap in their province, that they insist every store have only french writing on the outside, and if your business name doesn't translate into a french equivelant, you actually have to change the name so it can be said in french. Now i had a friend beside me quickly point out that the reasoning for this is because they are trying to save the french heritage that quebec has, so by enforcing these laws, it will help keep french alive in Canada...Somehow i doubt that somewhere in France there is a city that insists on English, so as to keep English alive in france. I call major BS on this. Because of our beautiful bi-lingual country, manufactures are forced to box everything with two languages on it, making major international companies spend more money on packaging, which increases our cost as a consumer all so an insignificant, horribly inefficient language can be kept alive in Canada. When will our country actually become a country, when will our government actually stop coddling the ones who make the most amount of noise, but the least amount of sense. Seriously if you took a pole, how many other languages are in Canada, and of them all which is the most spoken. I bloody well guarantee that english is on the top of the board. Don't get me wrong, i envy those who are bilingual in any languages, but it doesnt mean an entire countries written word has to be done twice, just to keep one province out of 13 (territories included - and yes i actually had to look it up), happy. I say BS!!! And before you go off with your comments, read my disclaimer at the beginning of my blog.

Anyway, on to the present i go. VEGAS... TAXI - take me to Funville please - and don't spare the horses! My good friend is going to Vegas for a stag party in two weeks, and im more than a little worried it might kill him. Seriously this guy knows how to have a good time, but Vegas for 5 days would kill me, and im reserved in comparision to him. He tells me that he's just gonna get his drink on and chill by the pool, but i know that by day 4 he'll be hung over, lying in bed, coughing up stripper glitter, wondering what happened to the last 48 hours. I hope he has a great time and lives to talk about it, but i seriously question if his restraint will hold. I am more than jealous he's going; i love Vegas and could really use a good cut loose weekend away. Not that my road trip in the beginning of the month wasn't great fun, but the idea of a Vegas trip always gets my fun juices flowing... Soon, very soon i will have to go back.

Um, ya thats about all that is going on in my head at this exact moment. Jumped around a bit, but seriously my whole day has been like this. I promise my next post or two will have a bit more direction to them than this random prattle.

Later :)

Grinds my gears

So here we go again; this blogging thing really seems to help clear the mind. I hope at this point my prattling isnt too irratating or boring . Mind you if it is, i guess you just don't have to read it - which if you've exercised that right already then you wont see any of this, so really it doesn't matter. What was my point?


Well today a friend of mine lost his job - boo, but as i say far too often these days, either through insperation or desperation, change comes. So he will have to wrestle with those demons, and hopefully we can all help him smile during the hunt for employment. Which brings me to my entire point of my post today... I cannot believe the collective amount of dirt bags, mouth breathers, inbred red necks, and holy-er than thou bible thumping morons my little city has to offer. After seeing more than anyone should of these people come and go past me on the street i will find it entirely amazing if my friend doesn't find a job in like a day, because he actually bathes, shaves, wears clean clothes and doesn't look like a dirty clown. The collective pile of garbage that seems to float past me in a day is baffling. Now don't get me wrong, im ok if you like god, just don't tell me how much he likes me. K? And im ok if you find your sister attractive, or your uncle daddy got a new pick up. Just don't share it with me. You're lonely, need someone to talk to? ITS NOT ME, please don't come into my store and strike up a conversation like i give a shit. And seriously, if youre going into public, how tough would it be to wear clean clothes, shower, and maybe invest in some pit stick? If you have some serious odor (odiferous majorous) please do not enter my 3 foot bubble! And ok this is the big one... LOOK IN THE MIRROR before you leave. You might think its cool to dress with your pants hanging off your ass, or your hat crooked, or in a jacket covered in patches or a belt buckle the size of your fucking head, but seriously take a minute. Try and put yourself in an alternate reality, its called "employable". Hey anyone can dress down for a camping trip or a day of yard work. Hey if your in construction, i get it, who wants to wreck good clothes. But seriously when you look in the mirror do you look like someone that might be dressed to succeed? Hell do you look like someone the police most likely wouldnt hassle? Gangsters aren't cool, the "greasers" died off in the 70's and should remain dead. Grunge is ok for a concert, but not for job hunting. Why o why am i going on about this? Because this morning alone i had like 8 people come into my store, asking for work, asking to wash my windows, looking at stuff they have no intention of buying, never mind money to buy anything with, then starting up random story or conversation like i'd actually give a shit. I don't know where they come from or what their purpose is, but i can't shake the thought that if you can't actually contribute to society in some level - then maybe its time society got rid of you... Too much right? Well i did post a warning in the beginning of all this stuff saying sorry in advance. I don't know if im actually done posting for today, but honestly im more than aggitated right now so i will stop writing now and maybe revisit later today.
Oh, and hey, i like you just the way you are. I was talking about the other random people, not you ;)

Oh how you make me think...

Someone very important to me asked me recently, do I have any regrets? I answered rather quickly saying yes, who doesn't, but never really thought it entirely through. Well like usual when this person speaks, i spend entirely too much time thinking and analyzing what they said, what was meant by the question, and whether or not my answer was meant to satisfy them, or to make me think. Anyway the desired effect unknown, i have done exactly that - thought, analyzed, brewed, stewed and concentrated on the question. A few things have come clear to me. First off, yes i have many regrets - i was truthful in answering that, and really who doesn't. But as i pondered the questions meaning, and what my regrets are, or would be if given the time of day to reflect - which by the way seems to be the middle of the night for me, while not sleeping - i realized that all my regrets that quickly popped up had very little to do with me. They were all around how i should not have done this to that person, or how i should have done that for this person. As i thought harder, there were a few that were about me, but really all my immediate regrets were about how or what i should have done differently for other people. Strange how i can go on in my previous post about how its all about me, but when i let my conscious be my guide, my regrets are about how others were effected by my decisions. Now this realization does not undo my previous post, rather adds weight to it. Seriously why do i live my life dancing around others responses or reactions to decisions that really have nothing to do with them? Anyway, back to my regrets...
1. I should spend considerably more time thinking about something before speaking about it (true for most of us i think).
2. When an opportunity presents itself when dealing with the heart - i shouldn't hesitate to speak my feelings - regardless if it gets me hurt or makes me look stupid. (To many good things have slid past me or out of my hands because i was reserved - yes me - or unsure, probably even scared).
3. Recognize when im beating a dead horse. Seriously have to work on this one...
4. Run directly at my problems, not skirt around them. Oh and even more importantly - once im head to head with them, don't let up after the first dealings with it. Keep it in the fore front until the problem is resolved. (still working on it).
5. When i do decide to discuss an issue, i should be very mindful of who i share it with. Its seems more often than not i discuss my problem or issue with the wrong person, or persons, and end up getting bad advice, or having to defend my thinking rather then actually listening to their opinions.
6. Just because i ask someone their opinion does not mean i need to follow that advice! Far too often i get some input and run with it, its like i can't blame myself now because this person said it was ok... Enough of that...
7. Eating ANY gas station food. Drunk or not drunk - i really should know better.
8. Doing something out of boredom. Every day seems to short - i really need to stay on track.
9. Procrastinating. Thats right - i regret that i procrastinate. I continually put off going to the gym, or for a run, getting the books done, or whatever, because i can do it later today... Later today always seems to late.
10. Over scheduling. I continue to try and fit everything i can into every day. This pisses off friends, makes me late or a complete no show to events, and honestly makes me pissy that im running around in circles constantly trying to make everyone happy all the while making me unhappy...Every time i try to make everyone happy, someone ends up pissed anyway, and i end up miserable... I know this - just need to figure out how to change it.

Well, i didn't think i'd do the top 10 list, but my OCD said i couldnt stop at like 4, or 7 or anything so 10 was the number. Recognizing my regrets or at least my patterns of regrets unfortunately won't make me change. At least not over night. Im still gonna be reserved when my heart is out there. Im still going to be defensive when talking about my problems, and im still going to procrastinate... Hopefully i can learn sooner or later to just say no to gas station food - thats one i really need to enforce sooner rather then later...

Looking into the darkness...

Ok, so another day and another post. Im not quite sure if im supposed to do this daily, but it seems like a good idea so far, besides i've got a bit to say today. First of let me begin by saying sorry. Thats right - sorry. The last 9 months or so have been a pretty trying time for me, and it occured to me that there has been a handful of people that i've leaned on, used, abused, disregarded, and all out ignored. Im sorry - it was all about me for a while and honestly it still is a bit. That said, get over it! Live your god damn life, not mine. K? I know, if you were me you'd do things differently, maybe change the way i've been behaving, or some such nonsense... YOUR NOT ME, be thankful, and just get over it. Nothing i've done was intended to be taken out on you - its just the way it played out. K?
On that note, just for the record; I made these major changes in my life for a reason, and the reasons are my own. I make my decisions now based on that reason. I want to be happy. Now, if i decide to hang out with someone that makes me happy, its meant to make me happy, not you. Now, im not saying i don't want you to be a happy group, but lets face it - its still about me - my life, not yours so get over it. Youre still my friends, youre still important to me, i just hope that im important enough to you to see past my choices if you don't like them.

On to happy things... Summer is almost acting like summer, and with that thought im on vacation planning. For the last 15+ years i've almost never taken a vacation, and when i have, its been for 5 or 7 days at the most. This year is going to be different. I fully intend to take some serious time off to spend with my boys, my  friends and myself. Now i don't know how i can afford it, or what im going to do - but damn it im gonna do it. Im thinking of renting a motor home for a week or two and going dirt biking and camping with the boys. Or maybe rent a house boat and float the lakes for a bit. Dont know - suggestions welcome here, just realize i don't really have any intentions on leaving the country for the summer. Ill save up for that this winter. AND with the idea of doing said activities, its always more fun in crowds, so feel free to drop me a line and maybe we can do a group thing, i don't know, but a week or two with friends all relaxing, swimming, riding, skiing, drinking, fishing, eating, and camp fire-ing it up sounds like more fun than pushing drunk, drugged up midget clowns down stairs... (Inside joke, and tenative business plan :D ). Almost forgot - MORE ROAD TRIPS PLEASE. God damn some of the best fun ever!!!


Later peoples

Well let's just see how deep the rabbit hole goes

So i really don't know exactly the reasoning behind the purpose of my blog, aside from a chance to spill my brains out to the general public. Now i know at times i might offend some of you, or worse insult some of you, but in truth it is just my rants and "what grinds my gears" kinda thoughts. Its nothing personal or directional but more just an observation. There is always the chance that i might actually think something inspirational, like ground breaking rationalism that only one so deftly intuit could surmise; but most likely not - so don't get your hopes up. Oh, one last note - my spelling is horrible, my punctuation and grammar is poor, and im probably the king of run on sentences and paragraphs, so if this kind of thing picks your ass, then keep it to yourself. K?

Today is the day after; after what? After i went out with friends and drank. Now i didn't get entirely wrecked as i usually would. Nope this time i took it easy - at least until i got home, then had a bit more, still not over the top but enough to help me sleep hard. Which if you know me at all, you know isn't exactly something i do well. I used to think the lack of sleep, or rather the lack of ability to sleep long or hard was a side effect of my recent divorce. But now when i think about it, i remember not being able to sleep well in the last 3 or 4 years of my marriage either. Not quite sure why that is, might be a side effect of age, or maybe im still not at piece with things, which is why i didn't sleep well while married, any more than i sleep well now while single. At any rate the drink helped me sleep and i woke well rested. But here is the issue; every time i drink to any volume, the next day i cant help but feel the blues. I mean i know alcohol is a depressant but seriously, every time? Why don't i quite drinking you might ask? BECUASE I LIKE IT. K? I don't need to get wrecked, but i like the relaxed, no inhabitations feeling of just letting go once and awhile. So how do i fight the blues? Well, the gym is key, and so is running, but today is the day i get my boys for the week, and that surely will do the trick. They keep me busy, and makes me smile, which is an end all of any downer.

Something ive noticed lately too, is that whenever i have my kids, i tend to not have enough time in the day to get everything done i want, as well as do everything i want to do with them. I get up way earlier, and go to bed way later than i should, so that i can accomplish more, but it never seems to be enough. Maybe i've fallen into the disorganized person kind of panic that only a scattered thinking individual can accomplish with any kind of partial success... Does that even make any sense? Whatever - my point being i need to make a few more changes in my life so as to not continue the spiraling downward chaos that seems to be my helter skelter time management abilities... Having complete days off might help. Miguel and i (He is my business partner for those of you who don't know), both work 7 days a week usually, and when we do get "A" day off, there is so much we need to do, that we can't possibly get it all done in one day. Maybe that is the start of it - maybe 2 days off a week might help...



Anyway look at me go - first post on my blog and i cant shut up... Maybe this was a good idea, or maybe not... Well i really could go on, but i think i'll pull the pin for now. Later ;)